you're angel dust
and sugar kisses,
you're a work
of art.
you're frosted glass
and rainbow mists,
you're snowflakes
and you're love.
you are your soul,
you are your dreams.
don't let  anyone
tell you
you're any less
than this.

give me wings.
set me free.
i want to travel
to every edge of the world.
i want to sleep
on park benches.
i want to eat foreign
cuisine
and drink cheap
coffee, half asleep,
in a booth in a
cheap restaurant by
the road.
i want to walk barefoot
through fields of daisies;
i want to bury my toes
in the sand and feel the
wind in my hair
on a beach in October.
i want to breathe the
salty air in
and write poetry on
the cliffs.
i want to recite
cummings under the stars
while drinking cheap whisky
i want to run free
through fields of grass,
those green oceans of
morning dew.
i want to drive on
the highway at full
speed
and ***** the
speed limit.
i want to sing off-key
at the top of my lungs,
i want to hide in the
woods and make my
own recipes,
i want to cook
my own life
not by the rule book.
i want to be whom i've
always wanted to be.
don't tell me how
to live my life;
let me drink hot
chocolate,
sitting on a beach
at 4 a.m. in a
party dress;
let me drink
tequila in baby blue
cotton pyjamas,
let me waltz
to heavy metal,
let me breathe.
for ****'s sake
break my shackles.

Closed doors.
Drawn curtains.
***** sheets
and humid air.

Two tangled bodies.
Two souls
as one.

The dying sun
caressing
bare skin
and twined fingers.

Shared looks
and shared secrets.
And a kiss.
‘I love you’s whispered
in muffled voices.
His heartbeat
is her lullaby.

You left me
helpless,
burning,
longing.

You left me
restless,
hurting,
struggling to breathe.

You left me
broken,
crying,
reaching out for you.

You left me
all alone
calling your name
in the storm.

You left me
in the dark
lonely and scared,
to fight my demons
on my own.
You left me
and I’m no longer alive.
Turning and tossing
and looking for you in my sleep.

You left me,
I’m a shadow,
just an empty shell,
a ghost, a zombie.

I don’t resemble
who I used to be.
You were who I was.
Now there’s only me.

You were my home.
You left me homeless,
screaming your name
and praying for death.                  

10.02.2013

My hands are empty
without your fingers
filling the spaces between mine.

My body is aching
to have you
wrapped around.

My skin is itching
and every inch of it
craves for your touch.

My lips are burning
for yours to be pressed
against them.

And my heart is
beating a
steady
"comebackcomebackcomeback".

Breathe me in.
Cover me with kisses.
Take me, I am yours.
Put me back together
when I'm falling apart.

Hold me and heal me,
my soul and my body,
hold me, protect me,
kiss all of my scars.

We are so floating
when I cuddle in,
and I wish you'd
never go

because who's to
glue together
all the scattered
pieces?

Cold air.
Laughter.
Awkwardness.
It's March.

The wind is blowing
and my heart's
about to turn
to dust,
and butterflies -
I want to **** them
so there's only
us.

The world's reduced
to cold March air
and thumping hearts,
and maddened butterflies,
and our uneven breathing,
and a kiss and
us.

the first time i told you
those three words
you remained silent.
it was dark
we were in bed
in a foreign country
stealing kisses
and just then
i knew you felt it
when you kissed me
as an answer.


the second time
i told  you
those three words
was shortly
after christmas
in a three-page letter
with reasons why
and just then
i knew you felt it
when you kissed me
as an answer.


the third time
i told you
those three words
was on valentine's
in a tiny book
of poems
i had written
and just then
i knew you felt it
when you kissed me
as an answer.


the fourth time
i told you
those three words
was when
i told you
you were
the most important
person in my life.
you didn't kiss me
then
and i guess
you didn't feel it.

the fifth time
i told you
those three words
was after a fight
when you asked me
why i was still with you
when you made me
cry
every ******* day.
you didn't kiss me
then
and i guess
you didn't feel it.

the sixth time
i told you
those three words
was on a park bench
you were on your
knees
and crying.
you didn't kiss me then
you pushed me away.
you had words of your own
to say.

these were six,
and i guess it's
only fair.
now we're equal.

my six iloveyous
turned out to be
your six
"i have no feelings for you".

I will wait for you till my hair turns grey.
I will wait for you as long as it takes.
I’ll be here, patiently waiting for you,
oh, my love, and I will make it through.

I remember your touch
and your voice
and your scent.
I remember how we met -
this day, my love, I shall never forget.

You’re everywhere I go,
in every shadow, and your name I call.
But please remember, love,
I will wait for you.

I will wait for you in life and death.
I will wait till everything fades,
until the end of time itself,
I will wait for you, my love.
I swear I’ll wait.
You held my hand,
you whispered my name,
you healed my scars
and I promise I’ll wait.

i really wish i could do something
to show you that you
matter
that you are so much more
than your body
that you are simply
a bird in a cage
a lovely, beautiful soul
trapped in a meaningless box
to show you that you are
your brilliant mind
and your way with words
and your heart
i wish i could show you
that you are
a glamorous pearl
in the wrong shell

Every shadow, every scent,
every sound and every flash of light
remind me of you

though you’re gone,
though you’re dead.
I’m crying for help.
I’m praying for salvation.

Save my immortal soul;
it’s broken, hurt,
depleted.
I want to be dying.

For you’re gone,
and I’ve forgotten how to breathe,
oh, my long lost love,
and I don’t want to remember.
Save my heart
for it’s destroyed
and it is bleeding.
It’s screaming for you
to be here,
to hold it.

I don’t want to live
when you are gone
but I still wander
waiting for you
to be mine again.

In death.

It is so ******* hard
to smile sometimes.
It is so ******* hard
to wear a mask.
It cracks up, very often,
and there's so much
that I fake.

But then there's you.
You see what's underneath
and I don't have to
fake it anymore

because

there's a monster
hidden there
and you're not scared
and I've never been
so much
alright before.