what lies beneath those unwithered souls;
a ticking clock,
or a single brick unevenly placed on their walls?
a drying piece of grassland,
or a garden filled with blooms?
with smiles masked on their faces,
who'd know if they were real?
with eyes glistening upon the shadows of their insides,
i guess that's when you know what’s real

they say the upon the first fraction of a second from a glimpse you may know what they're truly feeling
but what if they're pathological liars, would you know what's real?
don't fret,
you're not alone
be genuine and kind,
and the rest untold

we’re drift drift drifting away

where we’re headed to we don’t know
maybe we’d end up being together down the road after being apart

no one knows

but for now we’re drifting away
along with everything we had built
so what were we?

no one knows

pitter patter on the sidewalk,

a drop of temperature outside. 

the clouds overhead were grey,

a chilly wind blew through my hair.

i sat on the sofa huddling my blanket close,

watching my cats fluffing up their coats.

the smell of warm food lingered in the house,

a whistling kettle screamed out in anger.

with my phone in hand typing these down,

i sincerely wished you were around. 

it has been nine days since i last saw you,

and i can’t help but to wonder about you missing me too.

i'm a sick stranger
with nothing but rotten thoughts and blackness engulfing me,
i can't describe what i am now,
am i a mess?
at least mess can be cleaned up, but i can't
i threw myself off from above so high
nothing is saving me
and i'm left with my sick sad thoughts
and i am losing hopes of a better day,
i don't need anyone's saving grace,
i've gone in too deep in a volcano
i think i'm a sacrifice for a better day
for someone down below
everyone's leaving,
and i don't feel the same
this is a sick strange world,
and i'm just a sick person living covering up my mess
a sore thumb if anyone really knew what i was,
an unclaimed luggage that no one would look for
this is me
i'm a sick stranger with nothing but unfavorable thoughts
i hurt everyone who shows the littlest bit of love
i'm a sick person
i don't think i can ever be loved

these thoughts are louder than anything
i hear myself speak,
but none could hear me
they're so loud,
no one can reach inside of me
please help me,
i'm being engulfed by it all
now that i have no one,
and misery is my only friend,
these voices are overtaking me,
these voices became my only way of sanity

i woke up in the spotlight
a place where i promised myself to never be in
i faced the surrounding darkness
i see familar faces staring down on me

hugging dearly to my knees,
i whispered to have inner peace,
“it's just a nightmare, i’ll wake up from this,”
tears streamed down as i rocked back and forth
with my face in knees,
the spotlight still upon me

i peeked between my knees,
i still see them staring at me,
i see everyone i knew there,
i noticed their look of disappointment being pointed at me

some mouthed words,
words i had engraved into my skin
“you're selfish, you're weak,
you'll never have a place you belong here,
you'll never be a wanted soul,"


i tried running away,
even though my feet felt numb.
i ran faraway,
feeling their gazes still upon me.
they followed me wherever i went,
they followed me in the dark.
they said,
*“you can never leave us, and you can never, ever live without us”

the sun is setting,
and you left me feeling blue.
did you forget me?