I am in the pursuit of solitude,
I always wander off to unexplored world because the old one don't last long,
          friends; it's either to be left behind or leave them behind,
          families; the more you are closer to them, the other things are just irrelevant,
          promises; I always create them daily but only a few was a success,
          knowledge; it's either shines your path or yourself
I never thought myself as a loner but as an independent person who doesn't like his blatant environment to be a disturbance.
I left my heart to someone else whom I hope that she would return in back to me,
I acted aloof so you won't expect much from me,
but you do not know that I was protecting your dignity from my perverted friends who liked you for your womanly features,
I am attracted to you because your heart gave me home,
Your beautiful eyes gave me insights on why I should settle down and wonder,
Your vivid thoughts always pass through my mind and soon become evanescent which hold  unspoken secrets.
from the moment I see you sad, everything turns pale,
I took your tantrum and convert it to become my timorous attitude,
I took your failures and made it mine,
I always make sure that your dreams become true,
I even sacrifice my time and will to you,
but you assume that we were destined to be in an unrequited love,
and until the moment I heard that you hated me for many ridiculous reasons,
I didn't oppose... i remain silent.
...
I didn't even see myself but you
until the day I forgot who I am now.

where am i in this part of world casting a role in this play,
why should i interfere with someone who couldn't let me stay,
wish i knew, wish i change this direction of my path,
i would if i could but my notion is not expressing greatest of my wrath.
there are voices inside my head shouting, trying to tell me something,
but from there, i can't differentiate from a shout and a whisper,
those irreferable sounds are trying to wake me from this surreal dream.
where i try to wake myself up and regaining back the senses that i had lost,
i still never understood what you are trying to tell me indirectly but it seems familiar,
the anger and hatred that i see from you looks denser than your happiness and love,
we treat each other like someone who never met before,
are we compassionate or are we just some person with the same personalities,
you always show me the constraints rather than the possibilities.
i feel like being inside a chrysalis sticking to its branch,
waiting time to pass on.. hoping that my tree is not being cut,
by someone whom you see that could fulfill your desires but only leave temporary impressions,
but i also hoped that i will eventually fall down, so that it could end my silly obsessions.

i'm a butterfly born without its shell.
welcomed by one mother whose the beauty none can achieved
as the young caterpillar developed further
he felt equal amongst others where none discriminate
he was taught many things where there's a lot of answers
but not questions
he was taught to tolerate but not love even unconditionally

when it comes to its moment to rise
he had realised he cant build his shell
nowhere to find shelter from his hell
curled into a chrysalis going through unspeakable things
eyes open broadly, ears listened precisely

after the storm ended where many began to depart
living their lives, where he alone is still trying to find his part