You watched me:

Live the life of a spark, always trying to be a flame
An act of quintessence, a folly void of blame
You burned your hands countless times whilst trying to suppress my sou
A burning string, from flames so bold, they almost felt like glittered gold

But how could I never have seen the cowardice in your eyes?
The anxiety from time to time that produced sweat so cold
I swear they would douse my fires
If they could touch me

You began to withdraw yourself
A recluse
A hermit
But I knew this was more than a gambit
This was not childlike epiphany
This was not a consequence of misery
You had known all along that I was disparate
But yet you acted in congruency with my antics

You are a whiter shade of your former self now
A hue so pale those who once knew you would never know you now
But I’m still a spark, the same old, disconsolate spark

And your sacrifice has been in vain
Ashamed, I am, for your reputation I swore to never taint

Break me into pieces
I volunteer
To cut my heart wide open
For your meticulous inspection
But leave my head alone
What thoughts inhibit there
No soul will ever know
When I die
I want to die with my thoughts
To bring them to my grave
And keep them with me
So no one has to see
The darkest demons
That inhabit my mind

We spend all our lives
Fighting intangible entities
That we forget
That our biggest nemesis
Resides in ourselves
And it can
Never
Be
Beaten

The sky was clear as day last night
Save for a few stray clouds in the distance
I saw a star
And then all at once, I saw many stars
They were all twinkling
In unison
As if the great design of nature
Allowed them to do only so
They were copious like sand
And I wished that I could grab them
And fill them in my hands
And I’ll always remember the night
That night one star led me to many
That night I saw the silver shimmer
From stars that could have died ages ago
But their shine has not changed one bit
Over the lightyears
That night the freckled sky
Was dotted with incandescent pebbles
That night the lilac sky
Enveloped all my worries
As I nosedived into the waters of my bed
With the stars
Watching over me

She owns my heart

In present tense
That statement doesn't hold

Back step by step
I watched her fade
As if I were a ghoul

Where are you going?
I called her out
But not a word she said

Just fear of loving
In her eyes
I wonder what I'd done

In silent shouts
We exchanged looks
A mystery unexplained

Till finally she
Cleared the air
And left me all alone

One's lonely
Too cold
Trees sway
Forlornly

I counted the steps
She took with her
But they weren't the only things
She did
With her my heart had gone away
And without I lay in daze

Should I love clouds?
But they prevent me
From seeing the sun

I wonder how it'd feel like
To put my hands out
And touch one

Are they soft as cotton candy?
Birds love to dance in them
Or do they disappear at touch?
And fade into thin air?

I wonder what they see
When they look down at me
A heart of opal black
So pale compared to them
I wonder if they mock me
But what right do they have?
They travel on a journey
Of transient tragedy

And since I started writing
The clouds have moved along
They're indistinguishable from each other
Was this the one I saw?

The day is quickly fading
The clouds are not as glowing
The moon waxing and waning
The firmaments fade to black

But what about the sun?
For all its splendour is worth
By day the clouds conceal it
By night it's somewhere else

So, should I love clouds?
But they prevent me
From seeing the sun