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Randy Lee Aug 2016
The thugs in my mind
that make me want to
do drugs til I'm blind
spiritually are so strong
I crave relief
even with my faith
my unshakable belief in
God this addiction just waits
doing pushups outside this place
this rehab stay number unknown
I just want to go home
because being sober
will never be the case
Randy Lee Jul 2016
The sweetness of the love I see
causes me tears out of sorrow
from rarely having felt it
yet having felt it enough
to know what I am missing
Randy Lee Jul 2016
God is wearing many different shades of Orange in this gorgeous sunset over the water tonight

God is working in my life in various ways that make me get down on my knees and pray in thanks

God wears the face of a man l've only recently met who has lended me so many helping hands

God is working to restore my soul to the original mold before I grow too old

God wears the face of a dying drunk to show me if I keep doing wrong  then that is what I will become

God is working to restore my faith so I will truly let go and finally accept His loving grace

God, wear me, so I can show others what you have shown me
Randy Lee Jun 2016
My heart hears the feeling of
billions of souls screaming,
those unable to wake up
into their dreams...
and inside I know,
that each one of
those trapped and hopeless souls,
are part of me...
Randy Lee Jun 2016
Let it pour out to drink up the love
Feel the insecurities as they bleed
Its time again to relapse in sin
Its time again to meet my best friend
Calculate how much hate i need
Bubbling, fizzing, alcoholic greed
Oh no, no no
Its time again
To get it in
before the shakes begin
Its time to sip it slow
so the world tastes sweeter
Its time to sip it fast
Cuz the world hates leechers
Metallic taste of ***** in haste
Cheap to do the job
Im trying and crying
And hiding from God
Run, run, run!
Are we having fun yet?
Beg Him for change
Not for coins but of pace
**** it lets just face the reality
We will never change
The cravings will never go away
Even taking it along with each day
Even when we pray pray pray
Leta just drink another fifth, okay?
Randy Lee Jun 2016
literally, we are living in a van down by the river. I have never been so happy, laughing and sober, our love trascending old hurts, with seagulls to feed from pantry food given to us  in true need, our greed it has vanished with our stomachs so famished, connecting with God again, bathed in praise from the generosity of those living in His name, all we can think to say is hallelujah, amen! with no shame as we hunt for cans to purchase Cheyenne's, remembering our materialism as if it were a prison, laughing all the way toward crazy, yet our minds have never been less hazy, so clear of all fear, knowing through intuition that angels watch over us, lending assistance at just the perfect time, every time, even when hope seems to be missing, especially then, so let me say it again as a destitute man with his woman living in a van down by the flowing river... Hallelujah, Amen!
Randy Lee Jun 2016
this always happens
over and over again
the dream is beginning
the nightmare almost over
sober thoughts
drunken actions
hospital beds
psychiatric mansions
a broken record
pills to stop the bleeding
the hemorrhage of our meeting
are we okay to swim?
This is happening again
ascension is us leaving
hell is where we stay
we are sinking to the brink
my oily skin is heavy
in the water of your heart
drowning in the blisss
mixing In the swoon
I'm dying
you're crying
so we are too
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