I have betrayed your trust.
You know.
Yet you say nothing.
The silence in your eyes says it all.
They’re always so animate.
Not today.
They’re blank, shielded, silent.
Do you remember, I told you…
That I hate silence?
It leaves so much unspoken.
It leaves such heavy dents.
Even though…
It weighs nothing.
But its nothingness weighs a lot.
It cuts. It strikes. It burns.
It is cold. Icy.

Remember the years we spent so close?
That was comfortable.
Our silences were warm.
They spoke.
They left nothing unsaid.
They were light. And liquid.
I loved them. They were cosy.
They exuded sincerity.
Animate silences. Expressive silences.

But I've betrayed your trust.
And this silence hangs between us.
It is cold, and it slaps me in the face.
It seeps into my veins.
It reminds me of what I did.
It rebukes me.
It lets me punish myself.
It speaks. Of betrayal. Of lies, of secrecy.
Of things left unsaid.
Of broken promises.
Our shattered trust.
Of blackened tar and burnt coal.
Of stained hands and glassy eyes.
Of smeared dirt and crushed diamonds.
Of torn clothes and broken needles.

It speaks. It is silent.
It speaks. It is trust.
It speaks. It is betrayal.
It speaks. It is sin.
It speaks. It is black.

Your eyes are silent.

I know
What you want me to know
And I know
Nothing more than that

But I see
What I want to see
And I dwell
On a lot more than that

I hear
What you want me to
And I hear
That other part too

I think
What you want me to think
And I ponder
Upon a lot more than that

I believe
What I think is right
But I know
It is more than that

Hey little girl…
Listen to me,
A mere belief, is all you need.

Hey little girl…
Do not despair,
For Allah is watching, and He is fair.

Hey little girl…
Be brave in this world,
For this is brief, and unreal.

Hey little girl…
Listen to me,
A mere belief, is all you need.

Let yourself believe,
And put forth your trust,
Give it what you can…
And then you’ll move mountains.

If you find me gone one day..
Do not cry and do not shout,
Just pray for me and carry on…..

If you find me gone one day..
Do not be sad, do not look for me,
Just let me be and carry on…

Coming in and going out..
This is the fixed cycle of life,
We come, we grow, we hope, we go…

So if you find me gone one day..
Do not worry, do not mourn,
For I have lived, and you must carry on…

Blurring the world from my sight,
They find their way down…
Snatching away all the logic,
They fall onto the ground…
Heavy upon my heart,
They weigh nothing to those around…
Fueling my burning emotions,
They let all reason drown…
Depriving me of all my strength,
They continue to flow unbound…
Awakening the suppressed sobs,
They make my head pound…
Making the world seem distant,
They fall-my tears, without a sound…

There in the state of solitude
She sat, her head bowed down
Looking for the vital signs of life
The soft light of dusk, caressed her cheeks

What misfortune had come to her
She knew, and only God knew
She prayed to God, dusk prayed with her
And then twilight fell upon

She lifted her head and gazed up to the sky
Then felt her worries dissolve up high
Her disquietude just vanished
Solutions came to her

Allah helped her through
She thanked Him for that
And twilight thanked Him with her
She needed this now

Those moments of solitude
Engraved upon her heart
She’ll never forget them
‘cause there, she found God!…
~Moniba.