happiness
lingers in the crevices
of my brain
longing for a
chance to breathe
and to grow
but the thoughts
that overcame the
happiness
in the first place
are too dark
and resemble
the ever so cliche
black hole
******* up all the
light
leaving few traces-
just enough
to keep
the memory of true happiness
present
and the pure darkness
alive

There's a secret within me
Writhing to be free
Sometimes it slips out
In wisps of whispers
and I clamber to pull it back
To retrieve the slivers before
Someone realizes what the
Whispers entail

There's a secret within me
Its too much to hold
But its too much to let out
So I let it gnaw at my insides
Pierce my heart
And drain me of what
Might've been a soul.

There was a secret within me
I really shouldn't have kept it
There was a secret within me
But now it's gone

So am I.

I sit
Listening to the
accusations.
Letting it all wash over me

"Why couldn't you be perfect?"
"Why can't you turn back time?"
"Why did you have to ruin everything?"
"Why didn't you think everything was fine?"

I seethe
Listening to the
advice.
Letting it all sink in

"Don't do it again."
"Just listen to me."
"Repent for your sins."
"Obedience is key."

Nothing is clear
Was I wrong?
Was I right?
I've got my life to fear

Everyone thinks they're right
Everyone thinks I'm wrong
Everyone's got an opinion
But nobody's got an answer

I sit
and
I seethe

If only I could
drop everything
and walk away

I'd never look back.
Not once.

But I can't
Because
I'm weak
and so
I sit
and
I seethe

Repent?
Obey?
Give in to the wise
& win the ultimate prize.

The problem is
I don't think
I want the prize

I never did.

It's okay to fall
Even when most tell you to stand tall
You don't need to answer their call
What's the point?-You'll only start a brawl
So trust me, don't enter the mess hall
Until you're ready to deal with it all

I'm ****** to Hell,
As I'm sure you've heard.
It's all over town,
Spreading across the world.

The news of my damnation
May have come as a shock,
But at second glance
This becomes the talk:

"I'd known it all along"
"She'd always had that look"
"I doubt she'd ever even held a-"
"God-**** Prayer Book!"

Now let me tell you a secret,
The reason for this all.
I fell in love with freedom
(Even the notion's known to appall!)

Welcome to My Kingdom
In the cavern beneath these plains
If you've got a bit of wisdom
or even the slightest hint of brains
You surely must know
Why My Kingdom is truly the place to go
(Join me for a strip show?)

People say
That Heavens the place to be
But to eternally need to pray
Is something I'd rather like to flee.

Though there is a bit of pain
I can do anything I please.
I really can't complain
If Satan's a bit of a tease.

So Join Me
Come one, come all
Because whether you choose to or not
My Kingdom will be
Where you ultimately
Fall.