raðljóst: Poems

Feb 2013 · 415

raðljóst Feb 2013

i am*
the tingling of my toes
and the vibrations
are akin

i am
the shoulders that carry
all my secrets
out and in

i am
the ever-wandering soul
that watches over
my body

Feb 2013 · 267

Untitled

raðljóst Feb 2013

Untitled

it feels like waking from a dream
or slipping into sleep
spinning hand and hand
then
falling over in the grass
between the ground and sky
on this windy night with you.

Feb 2013 · 244

Untitled

raðljóst Feb 2013

Untitled

i do not wish to be seen
i do not ask to be heard
i do not want to be hurt

please let me disappear
for a little while longer

Jan 2013 · 586

a bunch of really complicated and sometimes superflous images go through my head and i can't make them leave me alone when i want some rest, so i write vague poems about what i am feeling and today i felt the need to make a long title for a short poem

raðljóst Jan 2013

a bunch of really complicated and sometimes superflous images go through my head and i can't make them leave me alone when i want some rest, so i write vague poems about what i am feeling and today i felt the need to make a long title for a short poem

the memory
hides inside my skull
like sap sticking to
the palm-side of
my hands

and i ran out of space in the title textbox so i continue my rant-ness in the notes section here below the "more important" text. i am spinning around in a big room but it's not a very open room, it's got junk all over and i am not exactly graceful in my dancing feet - they're more like falling-over-feet - and i kind of waltz a bit and then sit down on a rotten chunk of wood that used to be a bench and i pick up one of those toys from my childhood with the colored plastic rings that stack up nicely, and i get sad because it's all gone and i can't get it back, and the only way to have anything like it is to have kids and then they will have that childhood, but i never will, because i used up the time and i am out of that period of life now, ticked it off the list, cut it right out of the itinerary, and now is a time for run-on sentences just like in grade seven and getting off topic just like always and a time for being sad about losing time and a time to say "to hell with time" but even if i did it would still be heard through the incessant clocks ticking our lives away and i would be sad even longer than i wanted to be.

Jan 2013 · 295

common thought

raðljóst Jan 2013

common thought

wondering if
anyone else
is thinking
about what
anyone else
is thinking
about

maybe it's
a common
thought

Jan 2013 · 1.4k

seafarer

raðljóst Jan 2013

seafarer

she lived as a wave crashes over the salty
shore. rolling so very quick across obstacles
scattered across the seabed of life. tumultuously
pushing her way to the promise of safety
on the warm, dry sand.

her hands and knees were calloused
with the marks of thousands
upon thousands of barnacles
but these hands retained a tenderness
only a long-time lover of the sea could posses
after years of salt watered skin.

sometimes when the waves would roll
she would get through the storm by dreaming
of when it would finally crest
and she would fall into sweet release
and temporary recession.

she was plagued with the promise,
or the ever-pressing hope that one night
the scars would vanish and she
would ride the tide without fear of crashing
hard against the rocks.

she didn't mind the weather but the troubling
memory of the storm and the wailing
winds of her past echoed in her ears. she wished
to be a stream that could wash
away when the rain stopped falling.

a seafarer must survive any storm
to be successful in their endeavours
and though she may lose herself in the sea of time
she will soon again wash up onto the safety
of the salty seashore.

Jan 2013 · 490

blind love

raðljóst Jan 2013

blind love

you are sleeping only
a whisper away and if
i can't see your face but
i know that it is there
behind the curtain of
night then i am blind but
i am falling and falling
and finally flying into
love
all over and over and
over and over again

blind love is sometimes the perfect love

I had an impromptu sleepover at my boyfriend's. I'm not allowed sleepovers (I am a fairly mature 16-year-old but with parents who are still strict) but my mom couldn't pick me up last night so I stayed in his twin's room (she's awesome) and I had the most wonderful sleep. He was in the next room so I felt very safe and content and I did not dream (that I know of) and I think that is because I didn't need to make up any stories to convince my sleeping self of his love, since he was so close.

Jan 2013 · 489

bad dream

raðljóst Jan 2013

bad dream

doorframe lovers
linger in the air
daylight uncovers
the sweetest stare

tenderness hardened
in early july
but never pardoned
the knife in my pie

the only way out from a bad dream
is to free-fall forever
forever

Jan 2013 · 438

social addiction

raðljóst Jan 2013

social addiction

facebook was so desperate to have me stay
just one more worthless day
or a few more hours wasted away

they said, we'll miss you
is this really what you want to do?
but i had to stay true

"but think of all the people who care
about the things you buy and what you wear,"
the things you post here are always there

never deleted off the page
your secrets hidden in the cage
of internal places evoking rage

because i never intended to do that much
it became an addiction, my loyal crutch
always there for me at a finger's touch

but what the hell are we meant to do?
when facebook crashes and we can't use glue
to patch it together or make something new?

we'll have to spend some time together
remember how it felt to feel the weather
instead of looking at pictures in the nether

you are wasting your life, your time
spending hours stuck to feeds must be a crime
because it's a terrible addiction of mine

i finally left without remorse
and went outside and found the source
of how to finally change my course

I just deactivated my account ten minutes ago and I feel really good.

Jan 2013 · 314

go on and live!

raðljóst Jan 2013

go on and live!

Get out there. Do something crazy.
Remember, there's no time to be lazy.
Let yourself fall and know you'll be caught.
It's no game of he loves me or he loves me not.
Change everything.
Don't worry if they hear you sing.
Time goes on, but it won't carry you along.
You have to move yourself; find where you belong.

Jan 2013 · 3.0k

dandelions

raðljóst Jan 2013

dandelions

she was crazy that way,
with her fingers forever crossed,
praying on first stars.
told me she'd make it big
while i thought i saw her chances blow away in the wind
like the eyelashes and dandelions
she wished on with her whole heart.

but dandelions reach further than my mind can,
they plant seeds in the autumn grass,
and every year they multiply.
the hopes of success increase so much more
than any pessimism could ever grow -
because she was crazy enough to know
and i was crazy enough not to believe.

Jan 2013 · 523

regret-me-not

raðljóst Jan 2013

regret-me-not

ring
ring ring

     "hello?"

               pause

"i am calling to say
that you mother
has passed away,"

               pause

waiting in time

   where did it go?

stop time

go back

                 give her that hug when she dropped you off
              for your middle school dance

      hold her hand when she reached out to you
   in the car on the long drive home

      make your bed in the morning
             and wrap the bread

                        sing happy birthday
           when she asked you to
                because she didn't have a mother of her own

          don't pick all the flowers
       in her garden
          but sit with her in the baby blue sea of forget-me-nots

    this phone call

          this one-time realization

                 this nightmare that won't let up

                      didn't need to be so regretful

ten years later on

i went to her little patch of forest

planted forget-me-nots

and prayed that she would

regret-me-not.

Jan 2013 · 486

Untitled

raðljóst Jan 2013

Untitled

as i take you to the woods
trust me
as i walk with your hand in mine
follow
as i guide you through the dark
relax
as i hold you close to my heart
and remember
always remember
that i love you

sometimes my poetry isn't even good. others won't like it, or appreciate it, but that's not my point. i don't need to impress, I just need to get thoughts out or I might explode.

Jan 2013 · 1.9k

labels

raðljóst Jan 2013

labels

sometimes it's tiring
to sit and listen
to our friends
who talk about labels
labels of clothing
labels of people
labels and labels
silly names for what
they want to be known for
hipster
geek
or
prep
but what do these labels serve?
the greed for attention?
our eyes drawn to
their facebook pages
their clothes
their hair and their
make up
but do we really see them?
we're blind to the souls
and overlook the spirits
of our peers
with selective sights
we look on the surface
and judge what we see
to be what they are

I am sitting with my computer on my lap and apple in my left hand while writing this. My "friends" are sitting at the table with me, and at the next table beside it in the library. A quiet place that once was, is now full of people trying to define themselves and fit in. They're so loud, and today, I am very silent. I am eating my apple and listening as I type this. Kate is beside me working on biology, headphones in to block out the rest, and a boy I don't know is trying to pass math. I find better company in the people who say nothing than the people who say so much but mean so little.

Jan 2013 · 437

different waters

raðljóst Jan 2013

different waters

in the river of wishes the salmon march
with feet they have longed for
all year
and all night
and in-between times
they wished with great might
out of the ocean of desire the penguins fly
with wings that can reach far
and take them so high
so high
high as the top of the sky
from the depths of the contented sea the turtle swims
with what he was born with -
short
but strong limbs
tending the seaweed he eats
with delicate trims

five-minute poems commence now!

Jan 2013 · 417

nobody ever said

raðljóst Jan 2013

nobody ever said

nobody ever said
hey, let's be friends
when i sat by the fence
and did equations in my head
of how numbers formed
so perfectly
but i couldn't tell them
what it meant to me

nobody ever said,
hey, you're not bad
when i listened to the tress
in my fort out there
in the school yard
with moss tangled
with grass
in my hair

nobody ever said,
i promise you now,
that you'll be so lucky,
your parents will allow
your love to be honest
and open to trust
you can love who you want
and that is enough

nobody ever said
hey, you didn't do wrong
when i grew up nervous
and left home before long
to cross over that sea
and live over there
nobody ever said,
hey, girl, i care

nobody ever said
hey, girl, it's okay
your daddy is long gone
and your mom's here today,
crying all night long,
but earth asks you to stay
and live out you life girl,
it's brighter each day

"What nobody ever said to you"

I was moved by this suggestion.
I think I let some weight off.

Jan 2013 · 1.1k

stork

raðljóst Jan 2013

stork

lean of limb
broad of wing
standing in a mirror
breathing in the wind

looking for a lover
only one in life
nestled with each other
sleeping before flight

I actually wrote this out about an hour ago really fast and got all my thoughts down but then I closed the tab by accident, got distracted, and forgot the poem. Not a good feeling.

Jan 2013 · 272

not "artist"

raðljóst Jan 2013

not "artist"

sometimes they tell me, riley,
you're a true artist,
when you grow up
you should paint for money
everyday

can't say why you think that
i don't like painting,
not painting like that
and they call me an artist
and from inside i scream out no
not like that

i don't want to have to do this
don't want to make and share
this
not any of it,
not now

so i put down my brush
and i walk away from paint
and in my life i decide
what's important
what's important

and i tell you that i don't know
whether my brushes will paint gold
or silver
or bronze
they do what they want

and i don't want them to do it
not today
maybe in a week or two or four
but today
i am myself, not "artist"

So many people have pressured me into taking art courses I am not interested in, pursuing a career in art, and drawing photos of them. I don't understand why I should do something just because I am good at it. I don't enjoy it as much as they think, I guess. They say, "don't waste your talent, you have a gift" but at the same time their eyes are saying "you have to do this, we are choosing your future for you, you have no choice," but I do have a choice. I have a choice to learn other skills and do what suits me best. Of course I'll pick up the paintbrush every so often, but that is not my life.

Jan 2013 · 508

adventures in sleeping

raðljóst Jan 2013

adventures in sleeping

sometimes i think it's dangerous to sleep
after reading two hundred pages
of my favorite fantasy book

for when i started to wake this morning
i battled huge rodents
and tiny sheep

and the creatures that haunt my sleeping mind
are very hard to see when
i never want to look

i close my weary eyes and hold my breath
until the creatures flee and i kiss goodbye
the memories i don't keep

I don't know if I like sleeping or not. Lately I've had really horrible dreams where it's some huge plot to ****** me and know who the murderer will be and how they will do it but I can't convince any of my loved ones that it is going to happen, so I wait until the day and try to fend for myself. What's worse is that they're going to **** me, and then all of my family, so if I die I am the only one that knows what is going on, and no one will see it coming.
And tonight I dreamed about a wise mouse, some sheep, a call to adventure that made zero sense at the time, and something high above a cloud. It was very scary for some reason, though, and so when I stood up to get dressed after having my mother yell at me for some time to get ready, the memory of it was 95% gone and I was quite glad.

Jan 2013 · 710

seasons

raðljóst Jan 2013

seasons

sometimes, when the seasons change
we change with them

in summer i am flowing and free
my worries wash away with the tides
and i am comfy in my long dresses
that reach down to my ankles
and get soaked in the salty sea

in fall i feel alright and all
i am drowsy but don't want to sleep
the crunches of leaves beneath my feet
are enough to make me smile
on the way to dinner at the church hall

in winter i keep warm in a sweater
given to me from a blonde boy,
jasper, a best friend and a lover
when we sit in cedar trees high above the snow
and watch the waves that make us feel better

in spring i shed the skin
of the year and all the days
i shared with all those people i love
but i keep the sounds and sights in my heart
and remember as i breathe in

sometimes, when the seasons change
we stay a little bit the same

Jan 2013 · 373

patches

raðljóst Jan 2013

patches

When you leave behind ones you have loved
You leave behind yourself
You are walking away from the patches once stitched to
The fabric of you

Jan 2013 · 393

Untitled

raðljóst Jan 2013

Untitled

happy is the now-time
soft breathing and distant moonlight
and happy kissed our eyes so beautifully
tonight

— The End —