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It's hard to remember. I think so anyway. As change occurs the past disappears.

It's hard to compose. I think so anyway. Thoughts don't seem to come like they used to.

It's hard to believe. I think so anyway. It all seems to be pretty pointless.

It's hard to start. I think so anyway. Though its an important part of doing anything

It's hard to ...

It's hard to …

It's hard to justify. I think so anyway. Repetition is easy, meaning is not.

It's hard to sleep. I think so anyway. Descent to darkness is not my friend.

Is this a poem? I think so anyway. Though its content might be better with a bit of prose

Work in progress. I think so anyway.
You’ve got to love the little old men,
The ones in the coffee shop from three till ten,
The ones who eat cheese and read the news,
The ones who seek the finest wines to choose.
Little old men with long lost cleats,
These are the little old men in the streets.

The little old men who walk around,
Quietly humming adding some sound,
The tock, tock, tock of their cane on stone,
The tick, tock tick of their life long worn,
The little old men who oft hand out treats,
Those are the little old men in the streets.

Some little old men hunched over from war,
Remain so from the packs they bore,
Their muscles and bones ten years have been sore,
But ask them now - what were you fighting for?
The little old man will regain some youth,
Say they were fighting for love,...- freedom and truth.
"But we were young" he'll say-., "My best friend was young and he died at my feet",
Those are the little old men in the street.

With finite wisdom and finite life,
These little old men once had a wife,
And no doubt plenty of children too,
In their day, two was too few.
But age you see, has had its way,
On that younger man of the day, ...
And the little old men in the streets can't stay.

One day you'll wake up and worryingly see,
No men in the shop, no men by the sea,
A stack of newspapers bundled up tight,
And little old men nowhere in sight.
Till one day walking in the fields you find,
No tombstone, no flowers but a burial mound,
And that little old man in the streets’bin found.
My bed was built beneath

whirlwind puzzles
and bow-tied time,
pulsing menageries
and lopsided rhymes;
circles and rainbows
and dark-alley’d dreams,
suns that explode
beneath smoothed-over seams.

But between the cracks
of the never-ending skyline
live shadows and demons
and sewage-filled pipelines.

There are toy-soldier boys
carrying small metal knives,
their sharp-tongued solutions
highlight well-thought-out lies;
and the bubble-gum girl armies
that ride into the night
spread pink viscous poison
and dance out of sight.

These spectacular visions
linger over my head,
with too-full rainbows
and ship-wrecked dread;
every highlighted secret
connects the stars of a time
where each piece of the whole
was malleable and mine.
i.

When will I hold a place on your list?

Names that are worth something
- a few I've never even heard before -
sit like pretty little
teacups
all in a row,
all holding their breath,
all minding their own business,
until something comes along and
ignites their genius.

(And I want a piece of it.)

I want to see my name on your list,
I want to feel like everything
I think is worth something
and I am worth something
and I somewhere behind my eyes, I suppose I know I am, but I'd like the confirmation, and if you'd be so kind as to please put my name down on
that list of yours
I'd be ever-so-grateful,

so sir,
when will I hold a place on your list?

ii.

Your decisive opinion of these
fictional scribbles
is like a
black-and-white
silent
stop-motion
film that I was never asked to expose.

And when I did,
(sir, your mind is like gravy)
I knew that you'd thicken with flour and
and overrun my potatoes, and
I've realized that dinner isn't worth ruining for you,
and besides,
this film is nothing more than a
tally of my faults.

One, two, three.

Tick-tock.

Beep.
I regularly ask myself what have I achieved in a year
and no thoughts come near
to the ones I should tell myself,
like where did my grace go?
how did I get here?
was that house right to rent?
wasted money that got spent on what?

Existence is tiring,
though it's all we've got and nothing more,
ideas yet to be printed, screenplays
yet to be tested,
theory's waiting to be put to the test and laid to rest in a textbook
in a classroom, in a school.

We'll end up in creases and creaks in
the chair at ten to 2 with misty eyes,
tired though they’ve seen shadows turn
to nights, streets to lamplight,
socks to feet at the bottom of bed sheets.

*I'm from red bricks and Hulme backstreet corners; Manchester born and Wakefield bound, stuck somewhere in between.
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