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unnamed Dec 2013
That's exactly how I felt.
unnamed Dec 2013
I am worthless.
She sees otherwise.
unnamed Dec 2013
There's beauty in stating the obvious
Like when we were entangled
And you sighed
"You're so soft"
Or
"You smell good"
Or
"You make me happy"

Those moments
Those words
Are my favourite
Of all the things you say
unnamed Dec 2013
Now
Even now
I put myself last

Even now
I want you to be happy

Even now
I'm terrified of you

Even now
I don't feel good enough

Even now
My anxiety is awful

So bad
I can even finish
A ******* poem
unnamed Dec 2013
It's 10:42 pm
And I'm thinking of you
I'm thinking of kissing you
And how I feel infinite

It's 10:43 pm
And I'm thinking of you
I'm thinking of sleeping with you
In the most innocent way

It's 10:44 pm
And I'm thinking of you
I'm thinking of you alone in your bed
And I wish I could tuck you in

It's 10:45 pm
And I'm thinking of you
I'm thinking of how with each minute
I'm a minute closer to your arms

It's 10:46 pm
And I'm thinking of you
I'm thinking of you living so far away
And I am patiently awaiting your return
unnamed Dec 2013
I have finally quit cutting
But I can clearly remember why I used to
And I can feel the urges to do so
That will never leave

I remember the first time
It scared me and hurt
I blamed the parallel lines
On a cat I didn't have

I didn't like it the first time
I don't remember why I did it again
For a while I never drew blood
I wish I had stopped at that

I quit many times
But with every relapse I got worse
They got deeper
I bled more

The red that dripped down my skin
Burning like lava on it's way down
A red river to show me
How worthless I am

They say time heals all wounds
But I'm left with these scars
These stories etched into my skin
From when I was at my weakest

I remember the last time
I only made one cut
But it was so deep
It didn't stop bleeding for days

It's been four months
And that stupid scar is pink and angry
That I had ruined
Another patch of skin

I understand what it's like
To be broken
And feel useless
To feel worthless

And that is why
I cry
When I kiss
Her scars
This isn't even a poem
It's a story
With stanzas
unnamed Dec 2013
I'm sorry
I'm awful at everything
Except making people fall in love with me
And I'm sorry
That you fell for me
When I'm falling for her

I'm sorry
That I found out too late
That I like girls
And I'm sorry
That you fell for me
When I could never fall for you

I'm sorry
For all the trouble I put you through
All the heartbreak I caused
And I'm sorry
That you fell for me
When I wasn't right for you
This poem makes no sense.
Oh well.
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