I walked to my class alone
I covered my face with my hair
I entered the class
The girls stared at the new freak girl
I sit at the middle of class beside the wall
I heard some girls talking about the holiday
Other girls were gossiping about the teachers
And others were just sitting
A girl sit next to me
And she was complaining a lot because her friend is in another class
She looked at me and asked me "where are you from" "What's your name" and I answered her
I was so anxious
When I had to tell my name for every teacher
I was scared and terrified
I hate school
I hate going out
I hate meeting people
I hate everything

Anon: don't be sad just be happy.
Me: lol happy! Happiness something l will never achieve I just can't tell myself I'm happy, I regret waking up every morning because everyday is just another day of misery, you could hold a gun to my head right now and I wouldn't even flinch, happy? Dying would make me happy.

People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again. Days aren't really days, they are just annoying obstacles that need to be faced. And how do you face them? Through medication, through sleeping, through cutting. When you're depressed you grasp onto anything that can get you through the day. That's what depression is, not sadness or tears, its the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make form one day to next.

You can never understand, how much courage it takes for one to end their life;
The thought of putting everything to an end and not wanting to exist anymore.
And yet, some people say it's selfish of them to do and act that way.

What's saddening is the fact that one could feel so much pain in themselves,
That they see death as the only way out;
The fact that one would rather die than to be who they are.

Some people are able to try, and perhaps, see some light in their life
But for someone who attempted suicide, seeing it as the only way out,
It's as though their world is completely dark and they've lost all hope to live anymore.

Attempting suicide is the act of wanting to die.
And dying is the end of existence, an end, the point of no return.

What makes you think you have the right to criticize their act, and
What makes you think you are so sure that there is another way out,
When you aren't even sure who you are and how do you feel?

R