"I knew this girl once,
she had long hair, so long it whispered tiny kisses along her hips and waist
she had the oddest bluest eyes i'd ever seen, the color of the sky right before it gets completely dark
her thick, long eyelashes framed those eyes, and freckles formed constellations across her cheeks
i could almost draw the big dipper and Orion's belt on her milky white face.
She didn't know i existed but i admired her from afar. I could tell she was educated- She always had some form of poetry in her hand. But of all the things i could have noticed about her i noticed her bookmarks. She would lose them all the time, i would see her chasing after the scraps of paper as they flew through the wind down the street. She'd stick anything in between those pages, wrappers of all sorts, leaves, pennies, shoelaces, once i even saw a page ripped from a different book. It became my favorite game to guess what the next bookmark would be.  After awhile she stopped chasing the various bookmarks across the city and she cut all that long hair off, then awhile after that she started using unoriginal, uninspired plain old bookmarks.Then even awhile that she stopped bringing books altogether, until one day she didn't show up. Nobody knew that beautiful, mysterious, bookmark making girl was locked up inside her own mind. Nobody knew she hated her long hair and her freckles and even those baby blues. Nobody knew that she couldn't stand to live in her skin anymore so much that she swallowed a couple pills one night to ease away the pain. Even worse was she didn't know i watched her for so long and thought she was the most interesting human being i'd ever encountered. That girl committed suicide because she hated herself learn from her mistake, my mistake, everyone who ever noticed her bookmarks mistake, and don't do this, don't off yourself with a .45 before you've even had a chance to live" he's desperate now  
"please please you don't have to do this" he sputters

I answer simply " I never was much of a bookmark girl, i always dog-eared my pages"

*bang

Every day the clock slows down at 9
It is on that time that the birds chirp
They chirp such a melody in my ears
But I cannot hear I can only see
The world bow down where she is

His voice rings in my ears
When I hear the sound of the rain
He sails through my mind
Grasping hold and taking control
Of my heart

As the world rises from its feet
The birds silence when she looks up
Every bit of her is the opposite of every bit of me
Her face is like an infinite, unmatched

He calls my name over and over
His voice ignites through my veins.
Flowers bloom in my soul
And weave around my heart.
He whispers,
"Never let me go"

She glances my way setting me ablaze
No matter how bright I burn
She always burns brighter
And now she walks over to me
To put out the flame

He lights a match
And burns me from the inside out.
In the snowy Decembers he leaves me in the cold
And watches me burn

She once whispered in my ear,
"Forever and more"
And now if you look at me
You cast your glance far away;
I was once your favorite toy

He's waiting by the door
As I burn to pieces inside
He's cold
On the inside and out;
He was always waiting for a girl
Who didn't burn

Now to you I'm not even a teenage boy
And yet when I see you I still burn for you
But now I am left here with nobody to put me out

"I always loved you" she said
"You were always the fire in my rain," he said
*"But I could never love you too"

(1)
Just like that,
My heart fell into your hands.

(17)
Mid September,
Wild flowers bloomed
Deep within my soul.
The sun drowned in light,
The moon shone across the stars.

(76)
I finally realized
Why I walk on the street
Instead of the side walk
And why I stay up all night
Watching the stars
Instead of dreaming of the moon.
I loved how
You always finished my sentences,
And I love you t-

(119)
I counted all the stars
And I gave up
After 32.
I decided to dream of you
Instead of the moon.

(210)
His eyes lit up brighter than the galaxy
And I prayed that I was the only
Supernova in his eyes

(308)
Slowly
Day becomes night
And the clouds are covering the stars.
The moon doesn't exist in my dreams
Anymore.

(501)
Where have you been, good friend?
Why have you left me here
With no warning?
Why are the flowers
Unwatered?

(634)
He said he couldn't
Live without me
Yet somehow,
He's still breathing
And I'm drowning

(789)
You are in my heart
But I am not in yours

(901)
The wild flowers turned to weeds
As summer turned to fall.
2:31am
Crept closer to me

(1,105)
Time stands still
As you stand in front of me
Telling me lies.
Don't finish my sentences
Because I still love y-

(1,256)
Don't tell me that you love me
Because I knew you never did.
Stop lying
And let me free.
The flowers that grew in my soul
Have turned to dead weeds,
Suffocating my heart.

(1,427)
I counted all the stars
And only found two.

(1,581)
Maybe it's true-
Some people were meant to fall in love,
But not meant to be together.

(1,582)
The weeds are tangled,
The moon escaped from my heart.
I counted all the stars that I could find,
And only found one.
Maybe I should just move on from you.

I looked at him,
And he was so beautiful.
The way his eyes told me a story
The way his eyes told me the truth.

I looked at her,
And she was so beautiful.
The way her hair flicks of her shoulders,
The way her hair hid half of her insecure face.

As I looked at him,
I knew I needed him.
Everyday,
Every night.

As I looked at her,
I knew I wanted to be with her.
Everyday,
Every night.

I don't know what he thinks of me,
Or even what I think of myself.

I don't know what she thinks of me,
Or even what I think of myself.

All I do know is,
I love how he makes me feel.
Effortless,
Graceful.

All I do know is,
I love how she makes me feel.
Reckless,
Hopeful.

But yet,
I am always sad
I am not with him,
And probably never will be.

But yet,
I am sometimes sad,
We are not together,
And probably never will be.