rain drops dribble
rivers run through green grass;
muddied bullfrog blinks

windswept leaves
fall on pavement;
dry and cold

I watch you sleeping,
shrouded by shadows
and I just want to curl up beside you,
hold you forever...

If only I could,
I would take away all of your pain,
everything that has been causing it
and absorb it

How I wish it were that easy

I am not even that strong
but I still want to do that,
if I could...

Role reversal--
I **** at it.

You've protected me for so long,
guided me, taught me

and now,
when it seems that
it should be my turn
to do that for you,

I fail miserably.

I seem so powerless
to what we are against

Is it because I am not yet strong enough...
or because you are so strong?

God knows how life has dealt you with
heavy, heavy blows
and yet you still stand.

Sometimes a bit frail,
yet your inner strength
always carries you through

How I wish I can be like you.

That black veil is still there
as I watch you sleep

When will it be lifted?

I do not know.

I'm here, though
always will be

Ever had those moments when you were convinced--
no, make that Definite,
that everything was going your way?

Map in hand, destination in sight
then only to be horrified
that you suddenly
didn't know how to read the map?
That the compass doesn't work,
that you misinterpreted the signs?

So you are left with nothing.
Stuck in a place
between the now and the future--

Which is basically nowhere at all.

Asking for directions is pointless,
because the people you ask
are as clueless as you are--
wandering in their own vicious circles;
of rings getting tangled, untangled,
clashing then finally collapsing
into unlinkable chains

A conundrum, really.

Imagine this map as a perfect puzzle image,
shattered into a million jagged pieces in midair--
and they lie suspended there,
floating, painstakingly taking forever
to fall--- to--- the......... ground
You try to catch them, but are hesitant,
because the pieces are so sharp, angry
leaving you with bleeding cuts all over
and yet if you fail to do so, and they hit the ground
they shatter once again,
as dust

Impossible task, really.

Crying does you no good,
since tears mixed with that dust--
well, you are only left with mud

So what's one left with?

Instinct.

Sheer gut.

And you can only hope and pray
that you don't make a wrong turn this time.

Completely thrown off course,
you follow what you think is right.

Collect yourself,
read the signs again

and walk on.

Might take you days, even years
but at least you still tried,
refusing to just stand still,
waiting for the paths to show you the way.

You pave those paths yourself,
without trampling on ants
and maybe one day
you'd suddenly find yourself
in front of that lockless door
that was meant for you alone.

It is clamped shut though,
and will only open when it sees you.

This is that door that actually leads to the
place you've been searching for all along.

It doesn't have any locks at all
simply because
You are the key.

Have you ever realized
just how much it hurts
to be trampled upon?
People taking you for granted,
for every miserable day of your life.
They need you to get where they are,
so they won’t have to get *****,
so that their paths could be a bit easier for them
but you never are truly recognized for it…
You are just a boring accessory
not worthy to be taken note of

It’s like in their eagerness
to reach that place, to meet that somebody-
they just skip, step, jump all over you
and just not appreciate
your importance

My curse though
is that I can’t cry out—
only remain stoic, hard.
Stable.
So I can withstand
all that weight,
of all those people using me
with them rarely looking back.

I know my purpose…
but it still hurts to realize
that this is all that I ever will be…
A stepping stone.
To dreams, to love, to life--
forgotten, left behind





073020111252a107

Outside my window,
the leaves are in a frenzy~
twirling, shaking and flying about
the wind just sending them off
in a scattered dance...
so similar to the
thoughts
chaotic in my mind

Sleep comes around,
but the dreams do not.

Or do they?
And I've forgotten them yet again.

They are but fleeting wisps for me...
iridescent ribbons of subconsciousness
winding through me,
teasing,
then eluding me

When I try to touch them,
my fingers ripple through a smoky haze
So real to me, yet intangible

Sometimes I wonder
whether I could pour something
over these dreams,
Splash! And they crackle,
crystallizing them, finally captured
Smooth, sharp, tangible

and then I change my mind,
since it doesn't feel right...

Like caging something
to admire its beauty

Somehow, even the word dream
seems so ethereal to me,
they are but soft whispers
weaving through my slumbering self

My dreams,
they have a voice
so melodic, yet incomparable
so beautiful, yet unrecoverable

My dreams,
they come in color
so alive, yet muted
so alive, yet unreal

My head touches the pillow,
and I sink into slumber,
a myriad of thoughts finally settling down,
as undulating curls of dreams rise up around me

Come to think of it,
this creates for me such a
fascinating image...

Myself enveloped in darkness,
with wispy colorful ribbons
floating by all around me
as I dream on...
a quick reprieve from reality







08272011306p408

Here, let me take your hand
and I'll fluff up that pillow for you
How odd that the wind is nowhere today-

Whistle a happy tune for me, love
Don't you always say that whistling
calls the breeze, invites it in?
It's never failed before,
just as seeing you never fails
to put a smile on my face
...I can almost forget the pain
Whistle for me, and I shall sing for you

This is how I've always imagined us,
in a garden, the wind tickling the leaves
as we both immerse ourselves
in music and laughter,
with the birds joining us in our song...

Just hold my hands, keep them warm
as we bask in the sun's golden rays...
seems like forever since I've felt it

Don't be afraid to close your eyes, love
I'm just here
...let me watch over you for once
You haven't slept for days,
let me do this
and sing you a lullaby

Hush, wind, hush
let my voice soothe his heart this time

I can feel your pulse-
it beats so much faster
as mine slows down,
slipping...
much like the sun slips from my eyes

Forgive me, love, for leaving you this way
I know you wanted to be awake when I go
But you've been so tired,
and I don't want to see your eyes' lights die
as my own flicker and fade

It's better this way, believe me

The two of us imagining a garden,
hand in hand

As the wind breezes past,
so shall I...
forever in your breath, my love
dwelling in your heart, fanning those flames

and when you feel that wind has left you,
remember what you always do...
Whistle and I am there




08172011 400p433