It holds me down like bricks are tied around my waist
and I’m sinking in a pitch black sea
My head
My back
My feet
Are glued to this mattress
and the weight of my memories,
as heavy as the cement that is tied to me,
are sitting on my chest and I cannot breathe
My eyes fill with the same water I’m sinking in,
but as soon as I cry for help
I can taste the salt on my tongue as it runs down my throat and my mouth begins to fill until I start to drown,
I cannot scream
I cannot talk
I cannot gasp for air
And the only action my cemented body can make
is to grab these sheets that are stuck to me
and pray silently to a god I don’t believe in
that they will release me
so I can try to stay awake
instead of giving way to this darkness that envelops me
Until tomorrow
where I find myself in the exact same place
I try to feel my body and this unfamiliar skin that is surrounding me like a prison cell
and my hands feel a knot tied around my stomach
and I start to wonder
What is this tied around my waist

Sunlight peeks through entangled branches,
hinting at a cloudless sky beyond the somber maze of trees.
And just at the edge of this muddled wood,
a single flower stands.
It waits for the right moment to spread its delicate charm,
scattering pearls of color that twinkle through the network of darkness.
Like hopeful thoughts of the future,
painting a comforting blanket over the frenzied pain of the past.
A thread of assurance begins to weave itself
at the base of each looming tree.
And within the roots of this promising new life,
is where I find you.
Reminding me that all it takes to breathe light into the shadows
is one
single
flower.

I said no
And still you left me with a lifetime of
One
Specific
Memory
Because you didn't like my answer
So you erased it
And replaced it
With a yes

Painfully waiting for motivation until
Time stops altogether and the
Screams that fill the silence create
Deafening distance from reality

He stepped into my darkness,

and started turning on the lights.

Then asked if all these cobwebs

were the reason for my plight.


I, with squinted eyes,

not accustomed to the glow

said, “these cobwebs are a part of me,

but I’m not ready for them to show.”

“Within them are my secrets,

I used to hide them on the shelf,

Tucked away within my mind,

I even kept them from myself”


Then I panicked at the thought,

Of another standing in this room.

So I pushed him toward the door,

And quickly ran to get the broom.


“No reason to fear,” he said,

“I have cobwebs too”

Then he grabbed my shaking hand and said,

“In fact I’ll share mine with you.”


So he showed me his collection

And it looked a lot like mine

Then he pointed out the differences

And a “No Trespassing” sign.


Suddenly he smiled,

started tearing down the wall.

“There’s no need for two

when we could share it all!”


They told me that love

would fly me away from the gloom,

but I never did feel comfort

until I shared my room with you.

It was bursting inside me!
I needed him to know.
But every time I mustered the confidence
to voice what had been encircling my brain,
I was once again burdened
when only a small breath was released from my lips.

He's just so soft,
yet when I lay next to him I feel only security.

Soft, strong security.

Like the most comfortable bed
that allows you to continue dreaming during a hurricane.

He answers all of my questions;
my pointless, curious questions.
And when he answers them
he never makes me feel
like asking if anyone would notice
if everything in the universe grew three sizes
is an unimportant question.
His tales of the world and war take me to different places
which my spontaneous mind,
always looking for an escape from daily monotonies
really needs.

He is my escape.
Right here at home,
right here with him.

I escape, and dream, and smile.

I needed him to know all of this,
but he is a man that likes to get to the point.
And I felt these small words would make him understand.

It started deep, deep down inside me,
in a place I hadn't even known existed.
And with each passing moment
got nearer to my lips.

Yet again, the tiniest breath escaped.

So I grabbed his hand and thought to myself,
"maybe tomorrow"
as if one days time would give me the courage.
So I intertwined our fingers,
and squeezed his hand.
Hoping that it would be enough to make him see
that I thought he was the most magnificent person
I'd ever met.

As I closed my eyes, and silently admitted defeat,
I felt his breath on my neck
followed by the words
"I know,
and I love you"

My desperate attempt to find someone
has been leaving me afraid.
Drowning in a sea of people
knowing they'll never see my true face.

Your shallow judgement has left me trying
to find something good within my core,
but I know your assessments and my imaginings
will only lead to tearing me apart.

The thing is, sir,  I loathe you.
You and your peers alike.
Yet I know in the end I'm stronger.
Be patient, give it time.

The looks will surely fade,
and you'll be left with an ugly soul.
By that time I'll be shining brightly,
and you'll wish you'd have seen before.

I gave you my heart
in a pretty little box
that had a pretty little bow
with a trusty little lock.

When I handed you the key
you looked up at me
and said "Baby, I'm yours forever."

A while after that
I was looking for my mask
and found the little box
in the closet under a flask.
It was beaten around, worn down,
the contents inside were all shifted about,
"Is this even the same box?"
I asked myself.

So I put on my disguise
grabbed the canteen and tried to fly
but with my feet stuck to the floor
I turned around and slammed the door.

My eyes locked into your glare
I gulped the spirit and declared
"Baby, I'm yours forever."

Please hold my waist as if you'll love me forever,
See the universe within my eyes
For forever will soon be gone
our souls left for the heavens.

Place your lips on mine and watch the stars fall,
as if their illuminating brilliance
has been replaced by the electricity formed by our kiss.

You and I were floating as two seperate beings,
but have now been joined
by an abstract entity
from which science nor reasoning
could ever reveal its history.

For love is a perplexing concept,
And ours is a story that has yet to be told