I wasn't the same after that night*.
At first I didn't notice it
But then, through the simple pleasures,
Like reading a book
Or baking a cake
Or reflecting,
I knew I had changed,
As if you altered something in my soul that night
Switched some wires
And forgot to switch them back..
Leaving me in an irregularity.

And now,
All I have left are the poems I wrote about you
So I keep reading them over and over again
Just to grasp a little feeling of your presence around me.

I was eager to see you
Because I knew my heart needed it
I knew my mind demanded one more conversation with you
And I knew my body demanded one more touch from you
But I was also afraid to see you
Because I was afraid to get hooked
And I did..

"Don't you get it?"
she cried
I've carried you on my back my whole life
One last dance isn't going to break my legs
One last kiss isn't going to cut my lips
One last hug isn't going to crack my spine
So please,
don't pretend you're rescuing me
Cause that's what might stop my heart.

They say an aching soul
Breeds a beautiful painting
But with my demons on the canvas
Is beauty really what it is?

And 50 years from now, I'll still remember every kiss you ever gave me.

Every morning
she sipped her coffee,
smoked her cigarette,
wrote him a love letter,
and cried a little bit.