These are the days of our last summer
The days stretch long yet our time runs short
And goodbye has already begun
My heart starts pounding in my chest
When I think about the weeks ahead
And all the years we have behind us
My tears burn like the summer sun
My breath is raspy in my throat
Because I know goodbye is coming
And this time it's forever

These are the days of our last summer
And I cry to God with all my soul
How can this be?
I cling to what is slipping away
Because I know this time left with you
Will soon be just a memory
Forever marred with the pain
Of knowing how the story ends
I'm so sorry
I keep crying when we're together

These are the days of our last summer
And I know it's more difficult for you
Than you will ever let me know
But your smiles are like the fireworks
They burst so bright and yet they'll fade
And somehow you don't mind
Burning yourself up
Just to give me something beautiful to remember
Your cheerfulness so often selfless
Always so strong and brave

These are the days of our last summer
Which hug will be our last?
The last time you will hold my hand
And chase away the nightmares
Our last walk, our last drive together
Our last pointless conversation
Everything is changing soon
We'll say goodbye and you'll be gone
I'll stare at your empty bedroom
Holding a sunset of memories in my heart

These are the days of our last summer
And I remember so much we've shared
Fireflies lighting up a flooded night
Walking with angels by a lake
Eating ice cream in the snow
Falling, laughing, crying
And always your hand to pull me up
Holding me across the years
Teaching me to stand
But I never wanted to stand without you

These are the days of our last summer
And words will never capture
The love I learned from you
You taught me the meaning of sunrise
And I will not forget
No matter how the years may pass
I will always see you written across the summer days
Brilliant, bright, and burning
You brought the sun into my life
Which outshines even goodbye

She asked if I'd looked in the trunk of your car
A place I hadn't thought of
Since that dreadful, horrid day
All the nightmares of my childhood
Came bursting into the waking world
And desecrated my heart
Memories of that day
Are seared into my soul
With all the malice and menace
Of a thousand angry demons
Who finally had their chance
To clutch and cling and claw
And they almost pulled me under

She asked if I'd looked in the trunk of your car
A question weighted
With all the trauma and distrust
That solidified that day
In a physical proof we could no longer deny
And you could no longer hide
For years you went on deceiving
You lived inside your secret world
Where lies and life and pain
Got washed away inside that bottle
One you insisted had been gone
And you made us believe
You were no longer its slave

She asked if I'd looked in the trunk of your car
A question she spoke that day as well
After you had admitted to hiding the bottle there
But you weren't hiding anymore
The lie at last caught up with you
When I walked into that ER room
And I looked into the face
Of everything I had most feared
All the evils in my life
Were reflected in your eyes
Eyes meant to love and protect me
Now hollow and burning with hate and pain
That haunt me even still

She asked if I'd looked in the trunk of your car
And the truth was, I had
Just the smell of the car brought the memories back
I've borrowed your car and I can't help but remember
That day so clear in my mind
Trembling I glanced inside the trunk
And found it exactly the same as it was that day
A tattered notebook and some junk
And the same empty bag I pulled that bottle from
I had thrown it away with shaking hands
These hands are shaking still
Barely believing we have survived
Your journey to rock-bottom

She asked if I'd looked in the trunk of your car
And this bag is all that remains
A proof that contradicts your insistence
That's what is past is gone
And can be discarded
Like this empty plastic bag
Yet it just won't go away
Even when I put it back
Tightly closed inside a hidden space
And I walk away
You proved to me that day
That nightmares may fade
But they never really die

She asked if I'd looked in the trunk of your car
And I could hear the tension in her voice
Strained with hurt, hope, and pain
Wrapped so tightly in her expectation of betrayal
And my own heart hardened
Even as I reached out to hers
Bitterness seeped just a little deeper in my soul
As I pushed the idea away
That she should comfort me for once
I smiled and brightly reassured her
I had looked and all was well
There was nothing in that trunk
Except a past that binds us still

I didn't know
That there was life outside those cramped walls
Of the hell I called my home
I stand here now
Where open sky surrounds me
And this freedom
Feels more constrictive
Than those walls ever did

I didn't know
That I wouldn't know how to stand
When I was no longer being forced
To kneel before the lie
That broke my heart
These beautiful spaces
Are too bright for my eyes
That only knew the dark

I didn't know
That the cruel lessons they taught me
And those I had to teach myself
Those things that helped me survive
Weren't going to help me live
Here on the other side
Of this"happy ending"
In a world I never thought was real

I didn't know
That there would come a time
When all of my pretending
Would have to come undone
All the wounds of battles past
Would have to be bled dry
Of the infections and lies
That never let me heal

I didn't know
That I would ever find
Someone to believe in
Who could peel away these lies
And hold me as I shake
With the fear I couldn't show
And the tears I couldn't cry
Please don't walk away

I didn't know
That when the battle passed
I would still be fighting
It's all I've ever known
Not knowing how to give up
How can I surrender now
I thought I'd run forever
But you speak to me of rest

I didn't know
That I was still human
Still allowed to feel
That anyone would ever want me
Or that I could be good enough
So speak the truth to me
But be patient
As I learn to believe it

I didn't know

I hand myself over
Is this the cost
Of what it is to follow You?
Blows and whips and thorns
Nails and crosses
How can this be love?
I felt Your cry
As You prayed in agony
And I felt the touch
Of the sweat upon Your brow
It drove me to my knees
And I could barely breathe
Such a light touch
A small encounter with Your pain
And I'm left broken
I couldn't meet Your eyes
So You came to me
Did the angels who bore You up
Also minister to me?
Jesus, are You here?
They're arresting me tonight
My God, didn't You feel alone?
I feel like nothing
After all we have been through
I can't find my friends
They are lost in this crowd
Stand up for me
Defend me, O Holy Spirit
Be my Advocate
I touched the blood of Jesus
And although I bear guilt
Where He did not
I also bear the mark
Of His sweat and blood
I was there
In that garden with Him
I was there
Lord, don't let my soul perish
Condemned by my own guilt
I fear this road
But here we go
I carry Your blood upon my soul
May it become my salvation

A dying world moves forward
A blur of timeless haze
Each heart beats with a story
And every destiny unfolds

There is one standing still
Watching life pass her by
Her heart still beats
But she cannot be saved

Her story has been written
The ending has been told
She knows what they don't see
And she stands alone

She is the one past saving
She cannot be rescued
Her voice is rarely heard
But somehow she still speaks

This world cannot be hers
Nor can happiness
That's not her part to play
She was meant to be alone

So she waits
For anyone she can help
Knowing they will leave
And that her future isn't real

For her there's no tomorrow
Hope only brings pain
What she wants doesn't matter
But that's alright

Her heart is bleeding
Twisted in countless ways
She hides the bloodstains
And somehow she smiles

She has no time for tears
Her own pain does not matter
If she can live for others
She can still live on

Every motion, every glance
Betrays a desperate plea
Do not deny me this one chance
Just believe in me

Maybe there is sunlight beyond that horizon
Perhaps I need only to look
Just a little farther
A few more steps

Too long have the night winds consumed me
Too long has darkness been my guide
When starlight fades
The dawn must come

Unless the sun becomes eclipsed
Light must shine someday
I can't see it
Not just yet

All things must pass in turn
Even this eternal night
I wait for daylight
I wait for dawn