I love you.

Those three words didn't mean a thing,
I thought we were meant to be,
But I guess it was just a fling,

There's a wall around my heart, stopping me from crying,
But there's something inside of me,
That feels like it's dying.

You were everything, I needed, care for,
I chose you, but now my heart is sore,
You will never realize, that you were my best friend too,

Believe me when I say this,
I really did love you.

How is that I cry all night,
Yet all you do is smile
And think everything is all right
How is it that when I look up at you
You can't look me in my eyes
And when ever I want to talk
All you want to do is make me cry

Is it that you take pleasure in playing games with my heart
Ever since I've given it to you all you can do is tear it apart

How is it you declare your love to me one day
And yet I see you on some other girls arm the next day
How is it that you can hold me and look me in the eyes
And then turn around and tell me so many lies

How is it that you were able to make me feel so low
That I wanted to pack my things and get ready to go

How come I'm only yours when the time is right
How come when ever I want to love you. You always want to fight

How come you want to deny your love for me
And turn your back so fast
But don't forget I'm the one who loved you
And held you in the past

When you were in pain it was only me there standing by your side
When you wanted to run and leave I was the one ready to ride

When you had so many doubts and you couldn't find your way
I was the one who knew what ever to say

But you can't take my love for granted
And expect me to wait till the time is right
Because I'm tired of not being your number one girl
And always kept out of people's sight

At times I want to get back at you
And cause you so much pain
But even if I did do that
I know there would be nothing to gain

You couldn't have stayed with the good woman
Only run to the trash.
Yea I'm going to miss you. Yea I might cry
Yea I might look at you when you pass by
But the heart you once had of mine is no longer there
You can be with them other girls.
But they can never compare
To the love that I gave you
So when you finally realize that
Just give me my thanks.. But
Just don't come back

I take my second big hit
The dark room becomes lit
It's starting to make me feel good
Just like it should
I'm confused and I don't care to worry
My memories are becoming blurry

By the time the joint comes back around
I can't get off the ground
Starting to loosen up, I'm starting to forget
My heart is beating so fast, I'm starting to sweat
Can't remember what pill I took
Didn't bother to look
As long as it takes everything away
And eases the pain for today
It's my turn again, I cough and choke
But I still take another ****
I'm so happy it's unreal
I can't explain how great I feel
So many ridiculous words are spoken

My heart no longer feels broken
Laughing so hard I begin to cry
I can hardly hold my head up high
He is no longer swaying from a tree
Now nothing can bother me
My pulse is really starting to race
But at least I can't see his face
I can try to quit
Or cut down a little bit
But this is all I can do to make him go away
Because he haunts my mind every second of the day

Paxil to make you happy
**** to make you high
Nyquil to make you sleep
Energy shots to make you active

I’m told to feel a certain way
Suddenly heartbreak doesn’t feel sad
And tears don’t feel salty anymore
Love doesn’t feel good at all
And pain is something I can’t feel
A drug filled world is where I live.

Prozac to make you glad
Mary Jane to make you rad
Atarax to make you tired
Dayquil to make you work

Living life sounds make believe
A drug filled world I where I live

Zoloft to make you smile
Mushrooms to make you fly
Tylenol to make you weak
Aleve to make you strong

I’m losing my mind
My heart seems to have stopped
And my mind can’t control me anymore
A drug filled world is where I live.

Did you enjoy my pain?
Was it fun to watch me fall?
You where the reason why I became this way

Everyday, my life is tormented by nightmares,
Nightmares that are my reality
Do you feel nothing for what you have done?
Have you ever thought how your actions might affect others?

While I trusted you, you plotted my demise
You told me you cared for me, but it was all a lie
I shouldn't have trusted your sweet lies
Was it your plan to destroy my soul?
What was your purpose for making me suffer?

I feel helpless in this dark abyss that you have created
As the years pass by, it grows bigger
Being nurtured by my growing sorrow.

You’re the reason for these scars on my body.
All of your white lies, fake feelings, and hidden hatred.
I wouldn’t wish this life upon anyone,
Even you.
Because I have a soul.
You clearly don’t.


My whole being has been twisted by your selfishness
My understanding of life is so much different than others..
What they see as torment, I see as pleasure.

I use to wish for my salvation
But now I only wish to feel my own suffering
For I have grown to love the feeling of torment
I love to see the scars on my skin
And feel the scars on my soul

If only you knew the real me
You would cry and pity me.
But I wish you never to know.
For I still cling to that hope
Of you becoming the person you once were.

Karma will catch you
And she is a *****.
She is livid with you.
Better run or change your ways.
You’ll pay in the end for what you have done.

Fires ablaze within my eyes,
A smile concealing all my lies,
Screaming, begging, calling out,
A final, frantic, desperate, shout.

Scarlet tears drip from each vein,
A vehement covet to end this pain,
This silver blade, stays by my side,
Because all hope inside has died.

As each day ends, and darkness draws,
The devil toys, with all my flaws,
I'm helpless, alone, a worthless mess,
A broken child, he must address.

I'm tempted when he calls my name,
A way out, an escape, an end to shame,
To make it feel a lot less real,
A deal with the Devil, in blood must I seal.

They'll say I died of suicide,
But no one knows how much they've lied,
It wasn't a rope, a blade, or pills,
That broke my soul, and gave me chills.
I died inside so long before,
To live each day, an endless chore,
Pills could not **** what was already dead,
A twisted soul of an empty head.

I beckon the devil, with the key of self-harm,
And I open the door for him, with the blood of my arm.