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rachel g Dec 2012
I like wool socks.
I like breathing cold air--
the way it numbs in my throat.

I like watching cars drive endlessly,
staring across an avenue at tires and shades of paint, windows and blurred hubcaps. I like catching the brief moments in time when the streets are quiet.
I like empty bottles and barriers and running my finger through a candle flame.
I like trying to capture the brief moments in time
when the house is silent.
nothing serious, i just was trying to stop thinking about the complicated things.
rachel g Dec 2012
I wonder if you realize how simple it would be. I thought about it last night; I think about it all the time. I think it's humorous how quickly I could leave everything behind, how quickly I could forget everything around here. How fast I could run away from these gray walls.
       One ticket. It's comical how solvable the problems are--the depth of the meaning of one ticket aboard any random vehicle. One choice, one idea, one word, and that's it.
       What's keeping me here? What keeps any of us here?
        I'm young, I'm selfish as hell, and I don't need someone to show me the way. It'd be like launching myself through the finish line.

I'm getting chills just thinking about it.
rachel g Dec 2012
I was thinking of her again. I was thinking of her, and I was gone from the rest of them.
     Her life was beautiful. She was always smiling. Her hair glowed in every light. Her face shined in the darkness.
     She was gone from me in an instant.
     There are so many minutes of my life that I spend wishing for things to be the way they were. Every moment my future plows towards me, and the treadmill under my feet pushes me forward. I end up waking up every morning under my bleached sheets, the tiled ceiling staring down at me with the same uninterested frown as every day before the last.
     I am so tired. So, so unbearably tired. All I want to do is sleep.
part of a bunch of poems from two years ago
rachel g Dec 2012
It twirls like endless springtime ribbons
violently, though, wildly twitching
lost in midnight streaks of blue.
Also from two years ago--I've been looking through old writing.
rachel g Dec 2012
What do I do?
I watch.

I sleep, I eat, I breathe with everything.
I move as others do. My muscles are infinitely woven with strands of life, intricate designs etched forever into my being. The curve of my lips reaches across the deep, the soles of my worn feet swim with the wind across stretches of dusky sand. I feel pain, I feel pleasure, I feel every step of the nearby beetle. I am aware of the omnipresence of the light pouring; sometimes I wonder if that, too, is shining from within me--maybe from the crowns of my fingernails? Or the flat plane of skin along my inner thigh?--a question with a hidden answer, stuffed somewhere in forgotten shelves on faraway hills. I sit on a balance, watching time travel down the hourglass. I shrivel and I soar, I blow and destroy, but I always perch comfortably, palms firm on the granite, shoulders unfailingly square.

Do you?
I do. I
am.
This is from two years ago.
rachel g Nov 2012
I just want to laugh at what I used to be
laugh at what I am today
just laugh hysterically

then do fifty crunches, run three miles,
and disregard everything that hurts.
rachel g Nov 2012
One light
engulfing a doorstep,
reaching out dim tendrils
that barely caress the grass.
All night.

Is it superstition,
keeping that light bulb burning?
Are you calling?
                             Wind scrapes bare branches together in the shadows
Are you searching?
                             Pale pink sky behind drizzling mist
Do you beckon a lost heart home?
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