the hum of engines grows louder and louder like a swarm of bees in an angry hive
dotted lines **** past
tilting backward
aiming for the sun

                 -Ascent


white shelf stretches beneath
light streaming like a flashlight in a bright room.
“Would you like something to drink?”

                 -Flight


stars above, clouds beneath
a world of ant-like people beyond
a blur.  Lights flash to reveal flurrying droplets
the glow of city lights illuminates civilization
a bump.  A rush of wind.

                 **-Descent

The blue moon
rises
to greet a
mash of a crowd
enjoying the company
despite being strangers

Waxing and waning it
slowly.
Slips.
Away.

until next to no souls
remain
and the blue moon
fades and
reappears
on the next
table

Part I


My soul is tattered.
I long to be taken from this world
and yet I can’t let go.

My father’s closet
Third shelf on the left
Chilling metal.

I’m searching
for a place where I belong
to no avail.

The casing slips into the barrel
easier than
flipping channels

Day after day
I run tirelessly
in circles.

Down the stairs and out the door
No one can hear
my blunderings.

Is up a direction?
There is none
in this hopelessness

Click.
Ready.
Am I?

What is focus?
Shapes and forms
All is a blur

The metal is cold on my tongue.
finger on trigger.
Ready?

I am nonexistent
and the world goes on
without me.



Part II


I am here.
A whisper,
but existing.

Bustling crowds
are blind
to me.

Blood has been spilled,
across a splinter collection
for me and you.

A whisper
striving to be less
and let him seep through.

Backwards philosophy
permeates my thinking
I.  Must.  Become.  Less.

Once bold.
Now faded.
Soon lost in
the chalk dust

I LIVE for Him.

The flag is down
the box is open.
A sense of fear
A moment to collect thoughts
Open. Unfold.
A heart plummets like a fishing sinker in the ocean
Dread and worthlessness approach hand in hand
Will you ever be good enough?

                   -**Rejection

ends in screams of silent tears
for those that are going
and those that have gone.

They once ran through lands
of meadows and streams
tricking teachers into believing they were deathly ill
just so they could go fishing on a sunny afternoon.

He was drafted
leaving her behind
hoping to return with more than a box
to call his own.

They got married
without a proposal
knowing it would
“just happen.”

Together they raised
a girl and a boy
and soon they had children
of their own.

I followed them
like a newborn calf
follows its mother

riding in the combine
running through fields
sitting patiently on ten-gallon buckets
waiting for the bobber to be submerged.

Tonight I, their granddaughter, scream silent tears
because
she is going and
he is gone.

In the name of the Father
A trickle of cool seeps through sparse black hair and reaches the scalp.
A cry as the sinful nature begins to drown.
*And of the Son
Screeches and screams as the demons’
fear becomes more vocal and the clear liquid dribbles down the raging face.
And of the Holy Spirit.
Eyes flash open as the infant sees the world in new light,
belonging to it no more.
*Amen.