I thought you were the one who was going to stand by my side through our lifetime. I thought you'd always hold me late at night when the demons came. I thought you would laugh when I said something funny. Now we barely speak and your holding her at night instead of me. Your walking through life holding her hand instead of mine. How am I supposed to breathe now when your not breathing with me.

I looked for love
In a bottle of *****
Spilling out my soul on everyone's tongue
They swallowed my love down their throat.
Calling it spit, they came to me with open arms
And smiles in their shy eyes making me believe I found love in a person with shy eyes
But I only loved how they smelt like alcohol when they whispered my name, or when they lifted up my shirt with hands full of bad intentions. Even the times I knew I shouldn't , I always did. I liked the way they watched me undress, like they wanted me. But only because I was stripping naked in front of them and guys like that just wanted to feel something. I thought I was loving people, but I was hating them, giving all my anger to them for pleasure only to find myself in the same spot
Falling in love
With a bottle of ***** dripping down my throat

I crave the attention but I won't admit it

I was in love with a boy, who just couldn't handle being in love with me

I was 8
Mom and dad were always fighting
I'd run to my closet
And close the doors
I could still hear the yelling
I begged them to stop
A couple of times
But they tucked me in bed
As if everything was fine
Then one day
They sat me down
In my little pink chair
They sat together
But farther apart than normal
On my bed
Starring at me
Just a little girl
With pigtails in her hair
Looking back
At mommy
And daddy
Everything got quiet
And then dad spoke up
He said baby girl
Mommy and I
Can't live together anymore
You'll see me every other week
And I'll be moving out
You can have a new room
With new toys
And it will all be okay
I didn't cry
I didn't say
I hated them
I just sat there quietly
Mom started crying
Saying it wasn't my fault
Or my big brothers
That there just comes a time
When you aren't happy anymore
And dad walked out
Mom soon followed
Dad moved away
I saw him every other week
They still fight now
When I'm 17
I realized I was always the reason
For the yelling and screaming

If only to saw the real me, you wouldn't think I was beautiful. If you watched me undress you wouldn't be staring at me, you'd be looking at the cuts along my thighs. You wouldn't admire me, you'd just see through me or stare at me with pity.

I am not a person
I am a shadow
Following in the footsteps
Of someone who
I don't even recognize