His words linger in my thoughts,
"I love you."
There on the tip of my tounge,
Trying to say it back
Maybe i feel it,
The butterflies when i look at you
All the breaths ****** away from my lungs when you say my name,
Maybe i love you,
But i cant say it back.
Now,
I think your going away.
Another leaving
Not even saying goodbye,
I think its easier that way,
This time i dont hear your last words,
So i cant have then replaying in my head
Over
And over
Love will set us free
Show us who we need to be
In the middle of the night
Birds circling in flight
It scares us to know the truth
Only to be let down by a lie.
His words lingering in my thoughts,
"I love you."

I've always wondered what im afraid of exactly.
I know i have fears,
And that im constantly afraid.
But i want to be put in a room,
With my fears looking me straight in the face,
I want the racing heart
Shaky hands
Unstable breaths
Maybe im a little insane,
But aren't we all?

There are many things i am happy to forget,
To wipe away
To a clean slate.
A new year,
A new beginning.
The start of something new
Compared to something old.
The lost soul,
Brought to be found again.
Light comes
And darkness fades.
A new year,
Is a new start,
A fresh place,
Happiness may come
To bring sorrowed pain.
Its a new chapter,
A different page.
You are the creator of your own story,
Walk your own path
A new road,
Twist and turns
Blurred lines
Shadowed trees.
Its a new year,
A new beginning
This is your choice,
Only you can decide.

I clutched my hands as hard as i could,
To keep the distance apart from us as small as possible.
My breaths were shaky, full of nervousness with sighs of relief.
I held on to him like i was falling
Hoping he would catch me on the way down.
His lips were strong, full of life
Making me feel alive again
I couldn't get enough of him
He made me feel something,
Something that i am unaware of
But now that i have experienced that feeling,
I crave it.

I never realized how important "no" was,
Until i couldnt force the word of out of my mouth.
I felt his hands creep down my body,
Touch me in places that have never been touched.
The word wouldnt leave my throat,
It felt like it was stuck,
Maybe his forcing mouth kept it there,
Maybe it was my fault,
Maybe i was to weak,
People tell me there was nothing i could do,
But i dont agree.
I felt the screams inside my lungs
Unable to come to the surface,
Like the cigarettes i smoked caged my terrified screams
I felt my tears fall across my face down to my sheets,
I know he saw me crying,
He decided not to care.
He decided to push harder.
As i laid there, my body cold as stone,
Memories flashed across my closed eyes,
The thoughts of everything horrible in my life,
Comparing to that moment.
Now I'll do anything to get his face out of my mind,
Out of my eyes,
Out of my lies.
Ill drink a little to much, and the face starts to blur,
Ill smoke to many cigarettes letting the nicotine run through my veins knowing its killing me through time.
I'll drink a little more to feel alive,
Because I've started to think i died that day.
I've gone away,
To a far of land,
Where im alone,
In a crowded room,
Seeing his face flash across the wall
Feeling the tears fall.

I want a rebellion
I want an out cry against the system
They think its okay to shut us down
And tape our mouths shut
They think were scared of them
In reality were scared of what they can do
They will push us to our breaking points
But we rise against them with the fighting that we go through in our bodies in our everyday life
We will take out the enemy with every last breath we breathe
I am not scared of my government
I know i can stand up, hold my ground
They might have guns
They might have money
But **** it they cant take away my pride
Or my anger towards there power.
People stay quiet
But i wait for the day,
That they are afraid of us,
Because we are more powerful
And we can take apart their power and shove it down their throats
Maybe im a little malicious
But the things I've seen
And the **** they've done
Have made me this way.