even with a map
I'd still get lost in those eyes
and weaving paths of twisted lies
played with my mind
gain my trust
now I feel I'm not enough
as I find
you and her for the
     THIRD.
          *******.
                    TIME.

I put on my big boy pants,
My big boy shoes,
My big boy shirt
In shaded blues.
I put on my big boy hat,
My big boy tie,
My big boy suit
And my big boy lies.
I put on my big boy smile,
My big boy pills,
My big boy dreams
Went to hell with a chill.
I put on my big boy tears,
My big boy belt,
My big boy face
To hide what I felt.
I put on my big boy job,
My big boy stress,
My big boy lonely nights
Spent behind a desk.
I put on my big boy cross,
My big boy prayer,
My big boy goodbyes
As I said how well I’d fair.
I put on my big boy rope
In my big boy cell,
Took my big boy courage,

And I killed myself.

They took my big boy clothes
And stripped me down bare
And all that was left
Was their little boy, scared.

gen·e·sis
/ˈjenəsəs/
noun
the origin or mode of formation of something.

I know you try
not to be like her
to be better
than you where
but anytime I look at you
I remember the things
you used to do
the words you said
the hurt you made
the holes you left
gifts you never gave
so don't ask me why
I can't connect
yes I forgave you
but no I wont forget

Sheltered in my thoughts of doom
My mind becomes a sealed tomb
To emptiness i am consumed
Yet in all of this i find a tinge of comfort
Hiding behind a mask of jokes and joy
Though i'm still depressions toy
I know i don't deserve no better
So i turn my pain into letters
But let my skin be the paper
Though i've found no eraser
For the damage that i've done
I know i'm not the only one