i love this feeling of regret.
when something i do is wrong
that sinking of the anchor in what feels like my stomach but i will never truly know

i love this feeling of regret
my face burns the colours of fire and lava and heat rushes my body as if to prepare me for fight or flight
a useless mechanism when you realize that you can not fight nor flight from yourself.
you can only loathe. or accept.

mind you, i'd suggest the latter.

i hate this feeling of regret.
and i'd trade pain a thousand times for this regret to dissipate

oh, how i hate this feeling of Regret.

I accepted the sky
with these small hands of mine

I was ignorant to the brutal, sleepless grind of a lifestyle:
My radioactive brain chews on the nerves behind my heavy eyes
Who want for nothing more than to close up shop for one moon.
My ribcage desperately tries to grow flowers every fall
but I am not as optimistic as it is.
My legs that dipped in lead like a chocolate covered strawberry;
Ugly gray rag dolls that I drag behind my weary body.
My mind that screams at me to hide in the strange recesses of my mind
like a child tap, tap, tapping on the fish tank
My blood is a mixture of fear and hemoglobin.

Despite the pressure of failure; the sky escaping me to kiss the ground
and crush my porcelain bones,

because the two lovers haven’t talked in a while.

I want to let my problems drop to the ground and shatter upon impact. turn up the volume of my favourite song and fall into it and
I don't care what i'll think tomorrow. I don’t want to. All the responsibilities whispering my name and the tears of stress sliding down my cheeks make me want to get lost.
if only for a while.
a number printed on ink means more than what's left on my mental sanity
and at 3 am. it's all i can think about when I wake up screaming, and breathing heavily - ****** out of a nightmare by a reflective reality.

How can something so easy

so. mind numbingly easy.

be so hard.

I feel so empty right now.
At this moment in time.
I cannot fathom thoughts into words because I am too busy drowning in the sea or ocean or pond or river of my thoughts and feelings and completely blank. emotion.

this burden has become to much to bear

but if I let go,  
              the sky will kiss the ground

and crush my bones
because the two lovers haven't talked in a while.