She threw out all the memories
Without a second glance
Without even a word
All my memories
He gave that cape
The one she threw away
So many memories lost
Tossed into the velvety black abyss
The color of that silly Halloween cape
One year I was a witch and I wore it
Some days I’d pretend to be a magician and wore it
Another year I wore it when I was the ghost of my self
So many silly identities all wearing that cape
So many silly memories I had of him
Or the the him I had  now lost
You threw them all away

In my crowds I feel alone
amongst the sea of hugs
and the friendly words
I can feel the pity of their stare boring into my back

It begins life
It ends it
It hold me tight
and has no light
It fills a rabbit hole
It is always near.

I lost my childhood long ago
When I saw him
I was at the top of the stairs gripping the railing
with little white knuckled hands
I watched a you turned her face black and blue
Later on in life I lost my love for you
When you beat her still and I grabbed your massive hand and tugged you off her
I blame you
For all the **** you've put me through
for all the sadness of not having you there
For her sadness
She wants to think she hates you, Dad
But she loves you still
If she didn't she wouldn't fool herself into hating you
But I do hate you

I can just smell the changing leaves

and the sleeping trees

I can feel the analogous color schemes in the air

Under a harvest moon trees become bare

Welcome autumn finally

And all the wonderful things you bring with it.

Theroomisstuffy

and I c a  n   ’    t      b      r        e        a            t               h                   e

I can feel everyone’s eyes on me

or is that just the paranoia

I feel like my heart is

w

    e

       i

         g

            h

                i

                   n

                      g

                                     m

                                          e

                                                       d

                                                            o

                                                                 w

                                                                      n

The

world

is

turning

black

and

I

can

feel

myself

dying

black and blue words written on a thinly veiled world

in small print on a crisp white page

my story is written in red on the next page a dull used page with scribbles

and erase marks in child's hand writing.