I've got this habit
Of saving
Pictures between the pages
Of my books

Only my favorites
I capture the feeling and
Close the book

I was reading
I turned the page
And there you were
Staring at me

I wanted to
Close the book
But I wanted to
Finish the story

I didn't remove the picture
Just moved it aside
So I could read
But you were still there

Hissing shrieking sounds
How am I supposed to sleep?
Demons, quiet down

There are times when I mourn
The life I moved away from
I see pictures of my friends who
Have now moved on
Like I never existed
Occasionally we speak
But it's not like it used to be
So easy
No complications
We've known each other our whole lives
So why do I feel like a stranger
When I see their faces in a picture
Like I've been replaced
Like I'm just someone they used to know
And a memory very rarely thought of.
Am I just over thinking things?
Is this all in my head?
I hear how they miss me
But do they really?
Anyone can fake words.
I fake words.
My old life
The old places
The old friends
Maybe I should just move on.
They have.

Mommy, I love you
I hope you're always around
I know how much I need you
Even if you don't live here now

Mommy, I love you
But I received bad news today
You're very sick right now
There not sure how long you'll stay

Mommy, I love you
Now that you're getting ready to leave
I have a million things to tell you
But I first I need to pick up the phone

Mommy, I love you
But there's nothing I could do
They said that you fought hard
But Mommy, I lost you

This darkness slumbers inside me
There's nowhere I can hide
How do you run from something
That in your soul resides?

I try to open up my heart
In hope that the darkness might leave
But instead of leaving me alone
To the remains of my soul cleaves

Sunlight makes no difference
On this darkness slumbering inside
I'm not sure how long I can last
Before I succumb to the other side

Please, can someone help me?
Hear my silent screams
Can someone draw the darkness out
Before it consumes me

I heard you say that you loved him
That you'd never let him go
I hope you're rethinking that now he's hurt you so.

If I could see your face, let me tell you what I'd say
It's just a broken heart
That will take some time to heal
I know it hurts right now
Because the pain is so real

Just a broken heart
That lays shattered on the ground
But I know you'll have the strength to come around

I know what it's like to want to curl up inside
But you have to keep on movin' on with your life

Because after all, it's just a broken heart

A broken heart
A gray sky
But she says "I'm fine"
A lie
Her eyes are damp
Her eyes are red
Her laughter rare
And her smile dead
She wants to seek comfort
But not sure what to say
She has no friends
And her family seems far away
The blade offers no relief
The tears let nothing out
It's becoming hard to breathe
Like something is keeping her
From being free

One day she found
A pen and a page
She wrote herself right out of her cage
She created a world where she could be
Free

The only pain now
Is the cramp in her hand
From holding the pen too tight
Now when she thinks of the past
She shakes her head and says
"I'm glad i found a pen and a page
To write myself out of my pain,
I'm so glad to be free."

Untamed and wild
Running amok
Changing his mind
Every other second
Turning life upside down
He has a way
Of sneaking up on you
You dont want to love him
Because he will walk away
You just can't help yourself
His smile is mysterious
And his laugh is engaging
You can talk to him about
Anything
And he'll understand
His eyes are intense
Dont stare too long
Soon you won't be able
To think straight
Be careful though
After you fall
He will walk away

I can only cry
Under the cover of the night
Under the blanket of stars

If I cry during the day
You can spot my tears
From a mile away

So when the the sun down
The tears come out
And no one can see

During the day
I paint a smile on my face
And pretend that I'm alright

The moon is a spotlight
On my face tonight
As the tears fall down my cheeks

Tears that will continue to flow
Until my body can produce no more
Or until the sun comes up

Shades of gray
Clouds and rain

Rays of light
The will to fight

All we are
Is fleeting flames

Yet we are so fragile
So sensitive to pain

But we live to the fullest
Yet we strive to keep alive

A random face in a crowd
Just a drop in a big world

But we all feel important
In our own little worlds

Our problems are so little
Compared to the big picture

Yet we all still exist in our own little worlds

I feel as though I've worked a thousand years
To find a way to stop the endless tears
And even though I'm surrounded by all my family
I still feel alone
At the place I know I'm supposed to call home
So I'll run far and fast
And try to forget the past
I know one day I'll have to face
The hurt and sorrow I've caused
But it's so much easier to stay lost

This year's been so hard
And I'm under all this stress
I need to get away
Before I deal with this mess
Where can I go?

I fill up my gas tank
And I pack my bags
Maybe if you're  lucky
I'll come back

But for now
Its just me and the open road
Just me and me alone
Turn up the radio
And leave me and the open road

You’re forgiven
Not forgotten
Leaving
Crawling back
I don’t want to be bitter
So I forgave you
But I never forgot
Somewhere between the slamming doors
And flying rumors
I forgot to care that you used to be kind
I forgot you used to mesmerize me with your stories
Because soon after, your true colors were revealed
I didn’t like these shades of hate
So I covered them up with my mind paint
But then it happened again
Slowly, you chipped my paint off and your colors came back
Or they never left
So now I’m back again
Reliving all the fights
And now I see that I forgave you
But you won’t ever let me forget

A father
No hope
Yet he struggles on

Three children
And he has to keep his job

A mother
She left them
So selfish in her deeds

The father so loving
So attentive to the needs
Of his children
Who are so young and so naive

They would have no idea
For years to come
They have no idea
Of his selfless love

Their mother
She loves them
But not enough
Excuses, excuses
Why they cannot come
To stay with her

She's restless
Keep moving
Never stays in the same place

Her children
They love her
But can't remember her face

Three children
Now two
'Cause the other is long gone
She left to "fulfill her needs and wants"
Now mother and daughter
Not happy still
Doesn't matter though
They'll just pop another pill

The father still fights on
But married again
His children
They still have no idea
Of how much he loved them
Through those hard years

So much anger, worry and tears

A father
So strong
Teaching his kids
To fight on

His children
Now so strong
They now know how to fight

You call to me
I want to run
It started out
As harmless fun

Now I'm in
Far to deep
You've stolen my light
My love, my sleep

I can't see beauty
In the world any more
There's just places
And people
And me on the floor

Why can't you
Leave me alone?
I'm a shadow of my old self
Just an empty clone

I'm so lost
I feel forgotten
You stalk me still

Ok you win
I've lost my will

She stares at the darkness
The rain and clouds
It covers her home like a shroud
Dark cobblestone
Everywhere she looks
Moss grows in all the crannies and nooks
When will the darkness end?
Her future looks bleak
The outcome dull
Her life is planned in full
Marry him, live here
Now now
No time for tears
She's suffocating
In this darkness
No air
Can penetrate the clouds

It's been so long since she's seen the sun
It's light has been forgotten
Her eyes are lifeless
Her features dead
I suppose that's what you get
For suffocating the life
Out of a girl so full of light
You've bent her will
Made her submit
And so she lost her charm
Her fiery wit
A complete stranger who had
A gracious smile for the guests
And a "Don't worry" at cleaning the mess

What if you had let her live?
What if she still had
Her charm and wit?
Maybe then she would dance in the rain
Rather than cry with it
What if you hadn't forced her to marry him?
Maybe she would have been a different wife
Perhaps she wouldn't have chosen to marry at all
She might've lived a scandalous life
But at least she'd have lived

But you pinned her under your thumb
Pushed and molded
Broken and hit
Until she succumbed
Are you happy now?
She lived an unhappy life
And died an unhappy death
All because you couldn't stand to be contradicted
You had to be right
To rob her of her fight

Now you stare at the darkness
The rain and the clouds
But at least you know what she felt now

You'll never hear me say it
And you couldn't get me to admit it
I try not to let myself think it

I miss you

I miss your advice and your bright smile
And every once in awhile, I allow myself to cry for you
Even though I know it won't bring you back

I miss you

So maybe someday you'll come back home
And I'll show you this poem
But, then again, maybe I'll just keep it a secret
And continue to miss you

L is for the way I couldnt live without you
O you were the only one for me
S is for the silly times we had
E is for eternity
R is for the roses that you bought me

How stupid to think that it would last.

I make excuses for her
I say she's under stress
But I know as mothers go
She's clearly not the best

She cleared out when I was three
Without a backward glance
But I get defensive when I'm told
She doesn't care
I give her every chance

It's an endless cycle
It will never end

This darkness slumbers inside me
There's nowhere I can hide
How do you run from something
That in your soul resides?

I try to open up my heart
In hope that the darkness might leave
But instead of leaving me alone
To the remains of my soul cleaves

Sunlight makes no difference
On this darkness slumbering inside
I'm not sure how long I can last
Before I succumb to the other side

Please, can someone help me?
Hear my silent screams
Can someone draw the darkness out
Before it consumes me

Sadness washes over me
As I leave my home once again
But I still have a while before I'm back in my prison

All the time in the world is still too short a time
Till I can visit my home again
I didn't see all I wished
But I'll come home again

They hurt
Destroy and push away
The very ones we want to stay

They create and build
Up walls
They will be the ruin of us all

Hands

They war and make peace
They are scarred and
Tell stories

Hands

Hands can show love
But also show hate
They can never take back
Its always to late

Destruction
And art
So beautiful
But death and pain
Are also results
Of hands

Soft hands
Gentle touches
Rough hands
Harsh pushes

Stealing
Snatching
Hands

Young and small hands
Haven't felt the sting of life
Large and worn hands
Have felt the pain

Hands

She's beautiful tall and thin
So graciously she welcomed me in
I was thrilled as you can imagine
That I was able to be with them
The ones that everyone envied
This wasn't the sort of thing you could leave

She made one of them
Soon I was beautiful and thin
She became like a sister to me
We shared secrets and laughs
It was like a dream

Then I woke up
And life set in
Suddenly I wasn't beautiful
Or popular or thin
I was sick and blind
And didn't want to admit
That it was her fault
She helped me
With something I begged her to

I can't sleep or think
All I want to do is die
Yet I have to live
So I just have to cry
Everything hurts and
Its way too loud
I stand alone but
There seems to be a crowd

I'm slipping away now
Im in too deep
At least I'll finally
Be able to sleep

What if the face you saw in the mirror was not the face you thought you knew?
What if the person you thought you portrayed was not what others saw in you?
What if you thought you were the type of person who would stand through rain and shine
But that's not who you were in other's eyes?
What if the face you saw in the mirror was a lie?
What if what others saw was not what was inside?
What if the people walking around saw a different you?
What if the face you saw in mirror wasn't you?
What if you found out your mirror had been lying to you?
Would you change or just keep living life you knew, if the face you saw each day wasn't you?

The wind is so lucky
It gets to touch your hair
Your tears are so lucky
They get to stroke your cheek
The moon is so lucky
You smile at her light

Your beauty is incomparable
To anything I've seen
You have a red hot temper
Though I think I can deal

Maybe I'll get lucky like
The wind
Your tears
Or the moon

Maybe one day you'll love me
Or maybe I'll move on

When is enough enough?
When hearts lay shattered or when dreams lay scattered,
when bodies lay dead on the floor?
When the house is empty,when the sky is crying,when you watch your love walk out the door?
When is enough enough?
When the game is over,when the tears are shed,when there's no more that life has to offer?
When the plants are wilted,when the candle has melted,when your brother lays dead in a coffin?
When is enough enough?
When the crow doth caw,and Death follows, the moment the poison is swallowed?
Is that when enough is finally enough?
Or will more destruction occur?
When is enough

We were so beautiful
And sweet
Hands down
The cutest couple on the street

We were always

We were perfection
Divine

We were always

I loved you
You loved me
That's how its supposed to be

We were always

But now I sit here
All alone
Still in shock
Holding my phone

I guess we weren't always
Like I thought we were
You voice so calm
And so sure

You said
That things felt wrong
And for a while had been bad
I thought that things
Had been the best months I'd ever had

How did I not notice?
How did I not see?
Now I do
You had been slowly pulling away from me

We were
Almost always

Almost perfect
Almost forever
Almost lovely
Almost together

We were almost always

Your hands
Roam my body
Your lips explore my neck
Our bodies tangled up
This is love

My head
On your chest
Your hands
In my hair
Resting
This is love

Marks
on my neck
Left
On your back
Not in anger
Never in anger
This is love

Slow
We move together
Breathe
In and out
Together
This is love

Hot water
Rains down
On our bodies
Entwined
Cleansed
But not clean
This is love

Hands
Lips
Arms
Legs
Hearts
Touching
Always
This is love

Do I ever cross your mind
When you’re with her?
When you’re staring into her eyes
Do mine ever flash through your mind?
When she laughs
Does it hurt?
That its so much different than mine?
Does it hurt you like it hurts me
When you cross my mind

I don’t want you to hurt
But I need to know  it was real
And I can’t keep coping pretending I’m fine
I need to know

Can you still feel my hands
On your skin?
And do you remember me
When it’s her you’re holding?
I know you can’t forget
That night it became real
Because it replays over and over In my mind
Like movie reel

I don’t want to go back
I just need to know
Am I fooling myself?
Do I need to let go?
Will you let me go?