Feel it start to rise
Addiction bares its large teeth
And sinks them in me

Out on the dark street
I try hard to outrun it
But it's not easy

Take many calm breaths
I am so close to reaching-
Just a bit farther

Then you say something
Jerkish and insensitive.
I'll write you nothing.

Be careful what you say,
Be careful how you act.
Cause if you make the wrong move
He might get mad.

He might get mad
And say he won't
be coming back,
You lost your one last chance.

So tiptoe carefully
And think before you speak
-keep your tongue in cheek.
Because he's holding back a lot
And he won't tolerate everything.
You get no free passes
to be how you want to be.

So be very cautious,
Pay attention to how you speak
Cause you just might lose
Your one last chance
And then
He'll leave.

"I want you to think about how many
more chances you have."
And at that point
I realized
that at some point
it will be one time too many
And you will decide
You're better off
and turn away
from me.
All these days I have been
believing that we
will stick it out no matter what.
Now
I realize
that is just me.

Well no wonder
You don't stand up
for me
and keep me
a secret.
Now I believe
that's all
I ever will be.

My rage from pain is growing
You do all this without knowing
How much it really hurts me,
How deadly consequences can be.

What's with all this silence?
It brings me to the brink of violence,
To breaking all my promises
Do you think it's really worth it?

In defense of all your pride
You're pushing my heart to the side.
Is this some kind of punishment
For one thing I shouldn't have said?

Well I'd be careful baby
You don't know what you're doing, maybe
You just don't know what's in store
-How dare you say "I love you more"!

You did something wonderful today.
After I stripped down...
You followed (birthday) suit!

my lips can
touch
in such a way
with yours

makes this
a beautiful place to be.

And now it's
"We need to talk to you."
It's
awkward giggles through the wall.
Other sounds,
I don't want to know
at all.
It's her
making breakfast
when she hasn't cooked in years.
It's him
walking in the door
when she's not even here.
It's
trying to avoid
awkward conversation
when I'm
high as a kite
put politeness is the expectation.
It's
things in the house
suddenly being fixed.
It's
extra noise when there should be silence.
It's
wondering if he'll try to be my "dad"
and if he steps out of line
you know I'll fight back.
It's
flattening my quills,
remind myself:
he's a different person.
I guess it's
hard to put a family back together
once it's broken.

      (or never even existed in the first place)