Itch
Itch
Itch
Have you ever had an
itch you can't scratch
because someone told you
it was too far
on your back
arms
can't reach
that far

they tell you
but what if they had not
what if they
had not told me
that it was
not okay
to do a certain thing

but when i don't listen
and i scratch
myself
i can
scratch
and
scratch
that
itch
itch itch

until i
set my wings
free
and
the itch
shall cease

there shall
be peace
when
all my feelings
can be freed.

I keep trying to rewind
back through the track
connected to my eyes
try to find the sight
of you
trying to re-see
when you were right in
front of me
re-feel your warmth,
your frame,
your scar
try to wind back
I don't know if I've lost it
the way your kiss felt,
the comfort you once brought me

these ghosts that wander
through my house
I can hear their
padded footsteps
I must remember
the way those feet
once felt so good against
my own
the touch that was
an immediate reaction
I must find
all the little pieces of
these things I don't remember
and can't forget

So I can sew them together
And set them free.
And accept that I will never again see
the scarred boy from my memories

If you could put them all together,
If you could make the pieces fit
You would see a story
Not different
From your own.

You could see
that you are
me
from long ago

and I am

well...
you perhaps
who's yet to be

You could get a partial picture
of my soul in every piece
the emotion
in words flowing
know
                that all of them
                        are me

And if you put them
all together
I can set myself free

   Understand
        that I am always
                       myself,
        Even though I've changed

How could I
not be me?

Today I thought about you
In that special kind of way
The way that we thought once
Would never, ever fade

So I guess that means it didn't
But there are so many things
That stand in the way
Of what those thoughts used to bring

Now we don't talk
I used to know so much about you
You're older, wiser now
But I know you're still you

I can't ponder at these gates
That don't even exist
Because you are only one
Of the billion things I miss

I'd call you
But I know you will not answer
I'd write you a letter
if I knew your dwelling
I'd proclaim your name to the heavens
But I know no god to hear my shame
So I shall only think
and scribble my worthless words
in which your eyes shall never meet.
I love you

As a child
I held a smile on my face
I knew nothing about
the dangers I'd face
by just being alive,
trying to survive
have to bust my ***
to work nine to five
so that when I came
home
I could be all alone
And take a hit of
what they told me was
bad for me
But they lied
So I learned I was
overshadowed by
a system
That could make people
believe them
And what a powerful tool
that is

On the day they came to
take my brother away
For an incident 1 year prior
They told us they constructed
the whole **** thing
And as a prison bird my
brother now would sing
Mom paid the bail
With special money saved away
Which was more than
1 month of pay
And they put him in jail
      for 3 months
      5 years parole
And I learned that this system
Could also make you caged
they'd set you up
and send you away

So in my adolescence
I lost all hope for
the world
And the place they told
me was free
my rage and sadness
         uncurled
like a blossoming
          flower
It stung like a thorn
but it showed me
it's power

Change can be possible
Just use the right tools
Be cool, secretly
break all their rules
And maybe one day
I can do what I please
Without them making
and "example" out of me.

Remember how you told me
that even after
That you wanted us still
to talk?

And now here we are
In the silence.

   Why do they always say that?