Scared of myself
Of the power these hands have
To hurt
and to shred
and to tear me apart

Scared of the one thing I don't have
The courage to face my own darkness
Cause that means I have
To escape my own process

How do you do that?
Fight through the storm
With no tether or boat
I guess this is my one fighting chance
To write and to write and to write
To talk to that no one
Cause that's what I've got left

Until the clouds clear
Until it's warm again
Until someone sends a rescue ship

All I have to do is hang on till then.

I am nothing but a country in a civil war,
I cannot trust the things I say,
For I support what each side stands for,
but also what they fight as well.
I cannot trust the things I do
While I am living in my battle's hell.

I look all around,
Surrounded by darkness,

What led me here again?

Now I am more alone than ever,
Where did you go?
Where have you been?

I want to drink myself
Into a stupor
I want to pinch the nerve
Until it no longer feels

How do I wind myself
Until I am stuck?
How did I crash land
Ont he same stranded island?

Lying ,
And loving,
Choosing
Has never been my best choice

I can't breathe
My eyes are blacked out
Swimming in this murky water

Somehow I can't drown
Yet
I think that is my only way out.

My web, my tangled mess of lies
I cannot till the day I die
Make straight these strings
Which I have knotted

Myself, my only closest friend
For my wrong deeds I can't defend
So I must hold the very hand
That chokes me.

Brought me up from birth
Showed me all that I'm not worth
Scorned me for my individuality
Told me to act more like a "lady".
You've taught me nothing valuable in life.
Unless...
Crying solves nothing...
I don't know is a kindergarten answer...
And to hide in your closet when you're upset,
Are valuable life lessons.
You could never accept the fact
that I was never baptized.
Is that why you wouldn't look my way?
Is that why I cried to sleep at night?
I spent my whole childhood, growing up,
thinking that I just wasn't good enough.
But now I've realized: that's wrong.
I'm wrong? **** that.
Perfect to your community
Silent within your home.
We never knew if silence
was better than being scorned.
You always blamed her,
blamed her for this perfect life you didn't have.
You always blamed us,
blamed us for taking her hand.
Take a look in the mirror, dad.
You have some imperfections yourself.
You're life is not perfect
Because you made it that way.
Do not expect my pity.

For I am
Far better a person
Than you will ever be.

This poem is a tribute to the broken-hearted
The trampled on, the stompled on,
the hurt, and the cheated.

Those fighting the fight
for normalcy, for sanity.
Struggling against the painful beat
of the life-support.
To those dazed and confused,
time passes quickly.
Those who've lost their footing,
lost their harmony.
To those who hail from broken love,
the ones trying to break the chain.
to unmemorize the memories,
The unwanted, the replaced.

To all those trying not to make connections
with every single thing,
Those trying to find their melody,
remember how to sing.
Those trying to get out of bed each morning
without falling on the floor.
Those who can't catch their breath anymore.

You will be free.
You will survive.
And you will thrive.