A tight grip on my lungs
A cold hand on my heart
An angry sigh no longer sung,
No longer a living work of art.
Kissed by the sadness of the living,
Left with my soul to depart.
I'd been only giving, giving,
The aftertaste bitter and ****.

One can go on just forgiving,
Gluing together breaking parts,
But it becomes too broken to hide-
the shattered, empty, giving heart.
None can save it, death comes close
Defying what one believes is smart
Your breath is drawn, eyes grow dim
As
     you
            suddenly
                            do
                                  depart.

I wonder if you realize
The mark you left on me
When your hands were on my skin
And I couldn't even scream.
I wonder if you know
The trembling in my bones
When another touches me like you did,
No matter the intent shown.
Do you understand the panic
That races through my body,
The fear I know in every pore,
The feelings you've embodied?
Do you feel the anguish every time
I hear your name from a passerby?
The floodgates of despair and guilt,
Of disgust and dirtiness open wide.

Do you ever consider how I've been since then?

The hundreds spent on therapy,
Just to be unable to speak?
Two long years spent without a word,
Spent sad and lonely and broken and weak?
Nights spent lying in my bed
Trying to forget the terror of your touch,
How you ignored my every "no"
And my defiled brain became mush?
Forgetting would be a bliss,
Yet you continue to haunt me still
A ghost and horror of my past,
One which defied my every will.