I wonder if you realize
The mark you left on me
When your hands were on my skin
And I couldn't even scream.
I wonder if you know
The trembling in my bones
When another touches me like you did,
No matter the intent shown.
Do you understand the panic
That races through my body,
The fear I know in every pore,
The feelings you've embodied?
Do you feel the anguish every time
I hear your name from a passerby?
The floodgates of despair and guilt,
Of disgust and dirtiness open wide.
Do you ever consider how I've been since then?
The hundreds spent on therapy,
Just to be unable to speak?
Two long years spent without a word,
Spent sad and lonely and broken and weak?
Nights spent lying in my bed
Trying to forget the terror of your touch,
How you ignored my every "no"
And my defiled brain became mush?
Forgetting would be a bliss,
Yet you continue to haunt me still
A ghost and horror of my past,
One which defied my every will.
This one was hard to write. Sorry if it sounds a tad awkward.