The river's flow cannot be halted easily
and the one who holds on to it’s stream
is not lost at least until it reaches the sea.
But to go against the austere flow
is only the way of remembrance
of things best left to forget.
Even to throw oneself into the water,
expecting it to enclose the sinking feeling
and freeze it by the cold,
leads only to a loss of the ability
to set one’s own pace,
to forfeit rest and sanity
in an unequal exchange
of ice shard for free will.

Yes, it happens sometimes
that the river might seem broken,
forgotten and conquered by the bridges,
infected with small ships and big boats,
or the heat of the august sun might
dry up and hollowed out its bank.
But the world is only temporary,
measured by time and space.
And so the river, from time to time,
releases its fury to remind the man
of his inevitable mortality.

I, who has been walking
on the strand for so long,
sit next to the transparent god
who has been there when we first met
long way up the stream.
I think of the time we travelled together
and how you left for the other shore
just when the river showed us its rage.
I’ve been sitting here for endless time now,
seen hundred suns go up and down,
cold rain, ferocious wind with no shelter
for weary soul.

Now it must be the time to finally move on
for you are not here,
not in any way near me,
only in my head,
only in memory,
and the love I feel is only in the past,
upstream where we’ll never walk again.
So farewell to you
and farewell to 2020.

I’ve been washed up upon foreign shore
hollowed by the sea wave to the core.
My body had gone, my mind had died,
Only my love survived.

Caught in a whirlpool in mercy of the tide
I was so hungry I had to swallow my pride.
And when everything was denied,
Still, my love survived.

When no longer haunted by images of you,
No longer green, no longer blue,
No tear left for the eye to cry,
Only my love will survive.

And this is my redemption song
With no one to sing along.
When we’ve dealt with all the lies
Only my love survives.

With memories and all the senses gone
I wait for the final and eternal dawn.
Fights, sadness, hopelessness, it all dies,
Only my love survives.

And if you look for me again,
You will find me without any pain.
And you'll find (if you just tried)
That only my love survived.

Yesterday I could touch you
And it felt like being born again.
When your hand turned to mine
In a big blue car
My body and soul quivered
Fearful of the uncertain future
That at once stood tall before them
But suddenly crumbled like burning Rome.

I don’t think that you can understand
For I’m not sure if it can be explained
By words of any language.
You are the beautiful deep abyss
Into which I long to fall over and over again.
I want to share your darkness and your light
Smell forever your hair, hold you in my arms
And there will never be one who want it like me.

Tears all dried up
Hope but a faded memory
and numbed heart, pierced
by thousands of daggers

as

she leaves to journey with her new lover.

(And soon she will no longer think of thee.
She will not spare a thought in her newly found delight.
And you, only an old, rusty flower already set to die out,
are replaced in her soul and in her mind).

Man longs to leave a mark
On this world before he’s gone;
Some carve their names in stone,
Throw pennies in white fountains,
Circling aimlessly around this
Endless struggle to find purpose-
Some mad immortal preservation,
Just like a miniature spider
In raging winds trying to climb up
On his slender web.

Some seek to preserve themselves
Through their offspring
Creating an image of alienation
In children’s perception.
It is somehow an attempt
To live at least twice
To fulfill what they did not in their prime.
But it never does work that way
And seemingly innocent goal becomes
Doom for their love and pride.

If you asked me what I wish
To leave behind when the time comes,
The answer would be nothing;
I desire simply to disappear.
My only request being to go before you
For without you I’m as good as gone,
The soul reminding a broken stone.
I do not want people to say:
„Look, here, that was a inordinate love!“
I long to vanish without a mark or sound
only with eyes open, in your arms,
looking at my past and present
beautifully materialised,
holding your hand waiting for warmth
to escape my body for the last time.

His heart was a stone
But it still was broken.
(There's no reason why life should
Be good or bad,
Pretty or sad.)
He died like
Cold rain falling.
His heart is now
One with the earth
While she moved on
And flew into the sky.