The day I got birds tattooed on my hips was the day you inked cages into your wrists  so you could capture me.

Whether you intended to catch me falling off the top of a tower or to drag me to Heidnik's basement

I'll forever be unsure.

I'm trying so hard to forget you

To be angry

To not feel the space between the sheets

To not feel alone

To not notice, suddenly

How empty I feel

And how hard I fell

I wanted you like I want the skyline of New York to puncture new notches in my belt so I could hold myself together tighter.

Your silence was a city street roar,
I should have known it sooner.
Your hints were more subtle than a sucker punch and I'm a sucker for a heart beating

You were easier than I was ****** and we loved it, we merged into one,
you doused me in gasoline and set me on fire,
inhaled me one kiss at a time.

The vast capacity you held on your tongue was coded,
you chose to translate it with your eyes in fireworks.
The words processed and filtered through smoke sent straight from your brain were riddled with chemical madness
it exhausted me.
You were the perfect excuse for self destruction.
You were the perfect plague.

This is the last time I let myself go, this is the last time,

I will never again be in need of your past tense lullabies,

I am my own salvation, I am my own skyline, I am my own destruction.