yes when I'm alone i do great things
i do spectacular things that no one ever sees
when i am alone i dare to dream
dream up a life that even i would believe

because i can feel the marks from your tears
i can tell you need something greater
even after all of these years
of being your own dictator

so i dream up a time
a place for you and i
where the hours dont mind
and we can be ever so shy

because i can feel your need
for something that believable
I've witnessed your eyes plead
for something this inconceivable

you want someone to digest your thoughts
and feed you sides of romance
the kind, that never rots
and happens only by chance

so i consume your phrases
and prepare a feast for you to hide
a place for all my praises
somewhere you can abide

because i can feel your pain
as i watch that grin take its place
you're holding on like drops of rain
and its written all over your face

afraid to let yourself fall
in fear that you might splatter
but then again aren't we all
for then we'll cease to matter

so i kidnap your heart
which the others think so eternal
and i watch you fall apart
into me, like your journal

your fragile little being
somehow capable of lies
no one ever seeing
the beauty in your eyes

because all of this i know
how it feels to not be real
to wear your expressions for show
and let the backseat take the wheel

but now that i can feel you
and see that you're the one
just what the hell am i supposed to do
since the battle has already been won.

Tell it how you used to believe it,
with real conviction in your eyes.
Tell me the story of how we first met,
before all of the bickering and the lies.

Tell it how you used to mean it,
when "i love you" was more than words.
Tell me the times before you learned regret,
before the idea of love wasn't so absurd.

Tell it how you used to feel it,
the story of a romance so real.
Tell me how in your hand, mine used to fit,
before our relationship became some sort of ordeal.

And then tell it how it really is,
these two different people we have become.
And ill remind you of what "IT" really is,
the story of how two people become one.

Those three words are like taboo
how dare i attempt to say them to anyone but you
those three words, a curse upon my lips
how dare i improvise during your terrorizing script

i wish i could scream it out loud, to anyone
but there is not a single person who deserves it in the long run
yet, hopefully someone will come along
and then i can say it and once again be strong

i can see the day, eventually, it will come
and they will appear, the real one
and i can say those three little words now and then
for when i find that person, i will be me, once again

The spark in your eyes gave you away
The first time i saw you i knew
Theres nothing more anyone can say
Nothing left, im through
Ive fallen for you

The sadness in your voice told me stories
Those of all the tears you had seen
the lines on your face showed your worries
The ones that only disappear in your dreams
Im a lost cause it seems

The passion in your being led me to believe
That anything was possible with you
The things i managed to achieve
Made us feel real and true
I love you i know i do

The honesty in your goodbye pushed me away
You said it with such conviction i faltered
Some part of me wishes you would still stay
However, not enough of my self could possibly be altered
Ive failed, i wont even bother.

I forgot to remember to forget you
and today i was left on my own
guess what my mind was first drawn to
on my face, my thoughts were shown
i wish you wereent always there
hiding in the back of my mind
i wish i didnt get that blank stare
as through my life i rewind
but life isnt a wish. its a lesson learned
perhaps you were a blessing in a way
unfortunately everone still seems so concerned
but i will manage to be left alone someday...

it may not seem likely, or be any time soon
but i will overcome, i will heal this wound.


6/1/09

polluted our minds have become
ending, our lives have begun
wasted, our lives will reamin
hopeless, our minds are stained
forever, our hearts will long
theoretically, we dont belong
lifeless, people now seem to be
alone, we all live miserably
savages, now humans are known
persuading ourselves that weve grown
dark, in our shadows we live
compassion, we lost the will to give
jobs, we all have lost
prices, we are raising the costs
words, they all sound the same
hearts, no one cares to tame
trust, the city lives in doubt
love, most of us live without

and then there was nothing

    and then there was no one


    and there was you


and then there were lies

    and betrayal


    and then i saw truth


and then i found freedom

    and clarity


    and called it love


and then i fought

    and then i cried


    and then push turned into shove


and then you left

    and i was alone


    and then you moved on


and then there was nothing

    and then there was no one


    and then you were gone




6/19/09