WHEN cold December
Froze to grisamber
The jangling bells on the sweet rose-trees--
Then fading slow
And furred is the snow
As the almond's sweet husk--
And smelling like musk.
The snow amygdaline
Under the eglantine
Where the bristling stars shine
Like a gilt porcupine--
The snow confesses
The little Princesses
On their small chioppines
Dance under the orpines.
See the casuistries
Of their slant fluttering eyes--
Gilt as the zodiac
(Dancing Herodiac).
Only the snow slides
Like gilded myrrh--
From the rose-branches--hides
Rose-roots that stir.

Looming night and artificial light,
A pendulum delicately balancing,
Draped whimsically
As if held in place
By an invisible sheer force of will,
Hanging, bustled from a rigid,
Spine-straight brown-black
Pole etched into by the
Fluorescent light that
Paints the golden leaves
A glinting orange duo-chrome,
The leaves flinging themselves
On to the hard, barely-breathing ground,
Gasping only when no one will notice,
Paved in a rainbow of greens and faint yellows,
Steady and straight as far as
The eye can tell,
Hoping the chill will turn to wind
To carry them away from
The only mother they’ve ever known,
Stable ground below offering
A fresh beginning and a bed
For the leaves to reside in
While they look for a new place to call home.

I lie on the grass and listen to the silence that surrounds me.
I immediately squint my eyes as I look up at the sky
I take a deep breath and ask myself, What is the sun?
I think it is just a ball of hydrogen and helium bound together by a strong gravitational pull
A pull towards the light at the end of the tunnel
A long breath held with the ability to suffocate and torture
But still held together by a thin string of hope,
Hope that the light will come soon

Or maybe it is just where everything began
A look shared by two souls with
A secret understanding, not known to the rest of the world

Maybe it is the shining light upon all of the darkness in the world
A merciful and truthful gift that was given to us from nature
The protective cloak of warmth, safety, comfort and certainty
A chance to start a new chapter with nothing the armor of love
A ruthless game unless played with nothing but honesty
Of what seem to be the unvarnished truth
But maybe is it more than it seems
Maybe it is not a blanket of the warm and fuzzy feelings of love and trust
Maybe it is what makes me so blind to the truth
Naïve and easy to fool
Maybe it is the pain from the revelation of that truth
The sting of his touch
The mark of his burn
The ashes of a broken heart
Scattered
Along the beaten path
And along the same beaten path,
Another illumination of what was and what could have been
Constantly reminded of the naked truth

I wish that I could comprehend the truth; the purpose of the light
Understand the reason behind pain that surrounds the reality
And the importance of the getting hurt and moving on

But because of the of truth, there is no longer an us
Because if there was a beginning,
This must be the end
A release of the breath held in
With the realization that
Truth comes from the revelations of darkness.
And excruciating pain comes from the revelation of the ugly truth.

Beyond the mountains, the mountains,
beyond over their bumps and hills and small pocket
paths tucked into the seam,
you're sleeping still,
still sleeping;
glass of water on the desk sat upright and uptight
next to a gathering of white sugar, they-will-work pills
that you've taken one of.

Before you woke the window watched
the street below, I joined in and saw
smoke and busses, taxi cab film rushes
uncut and newly coloured for the silver screen
that's too expensive to see.

That morning I tided your clothes in
neat piles and mountain tops
where the summit was socks ready
for you to wear again until you leave me lonely and go home.

two days.
that's all it took.
two days without a word from you.
and you invaded my dreams.
it was raining.
the streets empty.
deserted. sad.
like a sepia toned photograph.
of you.
walking away into a garden of nothingness.
a void.
two days and i felt that void.
its intensity shocked my senses like an epicenter.
i ran after you.
shouted.
kept screaming your name.
but you didnt even glimpsed.
then you stopped.
you're fading.
like embers burning.
lighting the spaces between each glare.
i am seeing you in every direction.
sparks. flashes.
images. memory.
i am missing you.
your innocence in this obscenity.
your truth in these lies.
and your hand against mine.
then i saw your smile.
like a postcard from heaven.
but when all my inhibitions were starting to fade.
the wind blew you away.
gone.
except for one ember that kept on floating around.
i grabbed it.
a picture of your eyes.
staring.
staring at me.
i knew it was yours.
nobody looked at me the way you do.
with loving stare so inviting and assuring.
maybe in your silence i am remembered.
myabe in your silence i should remember.
i saw you in that dream.
saw you looking at me.
like no one does.
so like the embers.
i will fade away.
burning.
lighting the path.
remembering at last.
my path towards you.