I'm a woman.
it means I am
crushed between a boot that smells of cologne and

asphalt, hot from an unrelenting summer. I live
in a body that

some cannot handle. I live in a body like italics, like windy wheat
fields, swaying laundry lines, like white caps on waves

there's protests and colors on flags and I miss
someone but I think it's in my head
and I love the oranges here
and the tea as it slides down my neck
"mint" "menthe" "nyah nyah"
it's all the same meaning

i eat through the horoscopes and predictions for the new year like the words will cut through the raging fire that is my anxiety and lovelessness,

(i had bruises all along my jaw)

i regret that we never fell together, i regret the way you left me and the way i let you leave
the way i know you like the sound of the car pulling up in the drive way
and the taste of cappuccino, the warm glow of hydrocodone
the greybrown of tree skin

A reverence and a platitude sit side by side

in an empty theater

One has Jesus Christ and the other has

John F. Kennedy

We can compare hearts-

pomegranate juice.

We can each lay on goose down comforters
and trace the landscape, the light and shadow

We can drive through the Delta
with Spanish moss hanging like shower hair down my back

The rain will come to wash it all away,
it's a promise I can keep because it's not mine

my Yearning, acid trails all down my torso,

stomach pits of tar
my heart a fluttering nervous moth
at a lamp,
fitting so well in your arms  
like it is
normal to be holding you and to be held by you

what matters is that planes exist
and drugs can blip blip your brain
and machines w/ blue screens
make it easy to explain how youre feeling

what matters is that someone else will
find your pain and swaddle it in a blanket of
well-meaning words and youll still end up feeling
a little choked