Why do feelings take a back seat to situations and dynamics?
Why do feelings get left out because people's weaknesses hurt others?
Why aren't feelings being realized as the biggest thing?
When are the truest feelings allowed to be without emotional immaturity from people of all ages ruling the order of the day?
When can people simply say I was wrong, I made a mistake, I didn't handle things well, I ******* up, I apologize, I was scared, I didn't act right, I'm sorry?
Why is what appears to be "acting right", being the one who looks like they know, being the one who can't show hurt, somehow shown as superior to the one who feels all things, and can say they could have done better, and can say they are hurt?
Why are the truest feelings playing second fiddle to the weaknesses of others?  How could all that would support what is wrong appear as what is right when it wasn't?  Let not what has to be supported to accommodate a situation gone wrong and wrongly supported by the powers that be, mislead you into confusion and second guessing of your truest feelings.   You know what happened.  You know the truth. You know how horrible the mistake that was made was and is.  It's isn't being properly admitted to.  Some admit it by not admitting it because they can't.  They instead do things that show apology.  Unfortunately for those who felt deeply all along the misdirection there is no consolation for the time lost.  You are more right and smarter than you are being led to believe.  You are right in looking for an I'm sorry that you're not getting, and looking for deep regret that you're not getting, and looking for correction that didn't come for so long.  You validate your heart, your beautiful self, your feelings.  YOUR FEELINGS ARE WHY YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT.  YOUR FEELINGS ARE WHY.  I LOVE YOUR FEELINGS.

how can all my caring get so abused?
how could it all not mean anything?
how could i feel so much when nobody else does?
how can the superficial mean more than the truest meanings?
how can what everyone else tells me mean more than what I feel?
how can the most important things in the whole world get ****** by others?
How can we let it?
How can friends,school,religion and even parents so misguide us away from our greatest treasures,our self, our loves, our passion, our music, our art, who we really are?
how can the truth you've spoken get so twisted and turned into something else?
how can 1000's of precious times get wiped out by a few rough ones?
How can the greatest loves a person can have be smahed down by those who don't know love, who don't know what's precious, who don't know what truly means something in this world?

I touched what gives life
and overcame my strife
I found the love inside me with no ones approval
Even if it took their own self admitted removal
My creativity flowed as I fixed my wonderful painting
that others previously looked at and tried to taint it
Number seven of my paintings beautiful and completed
all that ****** them have been deleted
and signed my name to what was now forever
and I wrote a book that no one can sever
never gave up even when naysayers hurt my flight
the book, the paintings, yippee, they are out of sight!!!!
MINE, MINE, MINE, FOREVER
A REPRESENTATION OF ME
NEVER SAY NEVER
The greatest love is You to see

The marks blamed on something, on someone
but why was it me
shooting outwards for the next one to see
It wasn't the other, for her actions go unquestioned
identity deflating words against what was respected
life and growing is hard but this is never mentioned
It was me to blame, I was the one
The one who threw the extra ball, the one who hugged for fun
the one who had love and the love AND THE LOVE
the one who never touched you except when you backed into a shove
the one who stopped all the hurt that came your way the one who stopped her hurt when she issued the pain
why I am the one that was somehow to blame
and would give their own life and would still today
Why I was to blame because I was used for what was needed
why i was to blame when she chose bleeding
I asked why over and over
but to no avail
I was there when she needed me but she wouldn't let me know
why she felt in a way that couldn't be properly dealt
why i was to blame when used and then put away on a shelf
why I was to blame for what her other parent lacked herself
I wonder if they know
the real truth and not just the show
Do they know what I went through
and the pains from every wrong blow
Do they know the lies and injustices
Do they know the real score
Do they know that looks and appearances can truly mislead
they know, they know the faces they can read
they know the memories of all the love given
they know that even the one most trusted can be the one that really needs to be forgiven
lies made to be true by the masses and power
undermining the best in life for friends made sour
convinced to blame you by the person hiding from life's truths
And now the truth finally appears it wouldn't take a sleuth
Your life was misrepresented by a crook
And blood be as it is
Let truth be bigger, let integrity be bigger, let love be bigger
and let the real you be bigger for this is what shines bright
With an unconditional eternal love that will never take a slight

Existing on what's aware and listening
Quiet before speaking and always glistening
Hearing words not spoken when others run a lot
Seeing all that's going on when most are not
She operates on a thin wavelength of beauty
Hard to find for those who are too busy looking
hard to feel for those wanting to wrap her up for a booking
She's precious and sensitive beyond a thought
Beautiful and expanding and will always be sort
Surprises you when you think she couldn't know
Smarter than everyone but she'll never show
Withstanding enemies with her thorns
Staying beautiful and never forlorn
Spectacularly present with unseen pedals
So soft so sweet but of the strongest metal
Always precious, always special, always artistic,
always talented, always the insight, always so deep,
In the face of all that couldn't be wronger
what doesn't **** us makes us stronger
Respecting what's so precious like the morning dew
Congratulations on the glory of YOU

The greatest love of all is inside of you
and that is what will always be true
so let it not feel like the bad has won
when all around us appears to have spun
a web so deep we can barely recover
but love is bigger than anything and ours to rediscover
It's the love inside of you and the love that's given
and not the props of the play
that's what we call living
---a __with no shell thank you

A microcosm of the world was what I would say
and the hurt kept coming in every way
Money religion and all that can divide
it was all used to hurt my pride
Friends, parents, and heritage were to blame
When love is not love  its all the same
Where is the "for better" where is there "for worse"
believing more of what's out there, that's the curse
Lied about, framed, and hurt deeply with neurological drugs
aligning herself with common thugs
Thousands of magical moments they really did bring joys
even though they are  now used for other people's toys
Deep in our hearts they'll never go away
How I love you in every way
I don't care what anybody will say
More Roses from me to you on more of your special days
your are of my greatest gift s in my life and our moments I will always cherish
there are no words, no actions, no charades that can blemish
our bread is buttered today that's what we say
some creativity will find another way
so many things remind me of you
not the worst human being alive deserves what happened in lieu
In my mind I gave more than I ever I could
The drugs made hardened feelings do what they would
stock market losses another reason to blame
moving and changing lost much more just the same
but all the justifiers come out to make sure she disapproved
when all our lives were changed with her horrible moves
when all chances taken were for love and generosity
and all she could see to make her right was animosity
No human being could ever bare to hear the pains I suffered
and to even reveal the truth takes all I have to muster
but the truth is that I would do it all again
if that was the price for you to see
the beauty beyond all attachments and the splendor in thee
Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Socrates, Galileo and more have been jailed
and what were the greatest truths ever and how they later sailed
Unconditionally loving you and that is what will always be in me
and for that I am the luckiest person I can be