I wish I could stop falling, stumbling over myself.
For once, I want to stand still.

I'm always walking,
Traveling towards some unknown destination.
Always slightly askew, carrying my life in my bag.
I'm never fully resting, never really at satisfied.

Even if my feet stop moving,
**My heart is never home.

I mix it all myself.
A little bit of love and self destruction.
It evolves all the time.
An evermore deadly potion.

To make him fall in love.
To silence her.
To fix my world.
I  try to make these elixirs.

A little bit a melody, harmony, and pain.
A droplet of fear, a bright dark hue.
Mix it all together,
And I might get you.

I might disappear.
She might never speak.
I try to make these elixirs,
So my life isn't so bleak.

I drink them down.
I let it sink in.
I make them myself,
All of these poisons.

He lives with a rope around his neck.
A chair beneath his feet.
Weighing it all out,
Expectations he can't meet.

The headphones he puts in,
Find their way around  his throat.
Cutting off oxygen.
Allowing him to float.
Through space and time,
Fading in and out of reality.

For once he doesn't think...
Won't think about the things he can't be.
They all think he's dying,
but he's slowly being saved.
They unwrap the cord,
Here comes the fits of rage.

Here comes the hurtful words,
They begin to cry.
The cord wasn't the rope.
He was surely alive.
With every beat of the drum,
He was sure he could survive.

Every time he drifts,
They think he won't be back.

So he kicks over the chair with a sickening snap.

A burst of anger.
Clenched jaw and tense fist.
You put your whole world in danger,
To fill your moment with bliss.

I've never noticed the flicker in your eyes.
The flash of life before you black out.
I've never seen tears but i know you cry.
And Scream. Punch. Kick. Shout.

I ask why and you say I wouldn't understand.
Please stop living your life in denial and secrets.
If I didn't care or want to know, would I have reached out my hand?
What good is it to feel the pain and keep it?

Remember when you hugged me and said it gets better?
At that moment it was something I couldn't believe.
That night I watched as my palms became redder,
And I saw the stress it relieved.

But I had to stop so I wouldn't lose you.
You are my muse and you don't even know.
And when my heart is heavy and there's no one to go to,
Your voice brings me up from my low.

So don't clench your fist in your burst of anger.
Rather, open up your palm.
Stop putting your world in danger.
We'll be each other's Gilead Balm.

A grey night, dreary.
You're the only golden ray.
I sit and watch you.
Your lips moving slowly, silently, precisely.
You don't make a sound as you sing into the night.
We feel it in our tears.
We feel it in the bass.

Your heart beating faster,
Then slow
Every passing moment.
Forgetting who and where we are.
Who we have to go back to.
Forgetting we were never supposed to be holding eachother.
Forgetting we were never supposed to be this weak.

Your lips stop moving.
I see your breath.
I know it hurts so bad to breathe this in.
It hurts to feel the truth.
As we lay in eachothers arms
We realize we're this weak.
And we're supposed to be here.

The song stops playing.
You finally look down.
A smile spreads across your lips
And you're not hiding anymore.
You're eyes flash brightly,
You finally let me in.
The next song plays.

We hold eachother tighter.
And we laugh.
No more scars.
No more tears.
No more anxiety.

I can't help but stare
Deep into that ocean.
I can't help but feel.
I can't help but reach.

It will never be mine.
Even though I'm devoted.
You're building me up
For the grand defeat.

I can't help but break
Down even further.
I can't help but smile
Through all of this pain.

Every time that I'm hurt
By your sweet embrace.
I imagine,
A thousand kisses in the rain.

His eyes glistened, deep and dark.
An expression so bleak.
I've had those eyes before, it left a mark.
So I know he feels incomplete.

I see the scars even though they're gone.
Battle wounds, battling yourself and the world.
You're broken, but you have done no wrong.
And you begin to trust this broken girl.

We sit and talk.
Not of hopes and dreams.
Of the nightmares that stalk.
Of those demon beings.

Until the day I fell in love.
You let me get too deep in those blue eyes.
Blue...
Not dark...
That is the start of my demise.