The sun is the only distress.
As we lay 'neath the blue sky.
Without a care.
Our skin was hot,
Even as the sun went down.
And the stars had never looked so bright.
But the brightest thing,
Was the smile
Laying in the girl wearing it.
Who's only distress was the sun.

Just as thoughts can eject the mind
And propel the mouth.
That takes the feelings
out of your heart
Where the roads come to a T
Your sure to meet.
Your fate.
That drops its life at your feet
And you hearts blisters
Will turn to scars
And you'll walk away
From the steamy room.
With the least of the knowings.
Because you are a fool.
Heads hate the hearts
Every box breaks your heart.
Even more.
Shattering.
Until the scars hurt much worse than the blisters.

I swim.
I race, down the ice cold river.
My numb feet scrape the rocks as they hit.
The water trys to consume me.
To pull me down, to love me forever.
I fight.
I gasp for air, only to find there is none.
Im in trouble.
Im going down further.
Into blackness.
The light is so high.
I wonder if I can reach it.
I push up.
I reach the surface, gasp a breath of air, and get ****** down again.
This time I dont struggle.
I am so out of breath from struggleing.
I actually feel my cheeks smiling.
The light from the surface is dissappearing.
But the further down I go, I see a new light at the bottom.
I hit the sand.
And suddenly, I am consumed by a light.
A bright light.
That says its hear to save me.
And I can breath again.
And it feels nice.

Sometimes I wish I could be a seed.
I'd be warm in the ground until I decide to grow up.
I'd spread my wings, and push through the dirt.
I'd grow, I'd be tall an beautiful.
I'd touch the sky.
I'd be taken care of.
And everyone who saw me, would stare.
And I'd be happy.
And even as I wilted, I'd be happy.
Because I still had the memories of the days when I was tall and beautiful.
And everyone who saw me, just had to stare.

I look at this blank page.
And wonder where to start.
It wasn't just a stage.
It wasn't just an art.
Before I was a child.
Before I didn't care.
The side effects are mild.
Like aching bones, and new found hair.
I take my place, my rightful place.
The place that I have earned.
My taller shoes, my made up face.
Trying to remember all the things that I learned.
I fell from grace, of course I did.
It happens to all they say.
I ran the wrong, I cried and hid.
I looked the other way.

I look at this filled page.
And wonder where to end.
It was just a stage.
It was just a bend.
I am still a child.
And I still don't care.
I will still get riled.
When at my heart you tear.
I never claimed perfection.
I just claimed human life.
I desired your affection.
But living will suffice

Cinnamon rolling hills passing out my glass confining piece of hell.
Wake me only if your telling me death is closer than 80 years.
Oh dear heavens, give me a taste of beauty, give me a sniff of glory, give me a whisper of love. Give me a sign that things will get better.
The dimly lit candle we ignited last summer, we shoved under our beds with outgrown clothes and dust.
Crinkled wrappers and checker tables and postcards and magnifying glasses.
I remember when I still looked forward to waking up.
Snowball effect of water trickling down my face, gallons and gallons and I still don't feel better.
At this point your words echo off my skin like a canyon of crystal glass.
Hold my icy hands, and hold them close to your heart, in hopes of warming up my cold head. My gears haven't been working right since the freeze.
They say thats what it does to you, but it's all in your head. And the pills are made of sugar, and the monsters are just a bad dream.
I fantasize of a place where there's no floors or solid ground, and your always falling, and matter isn't real. The only thing real is the wind in your hair and the air in  your lungs and the beating of your heart and you are alive.
I'm running out of answers. I'm running out of questions.
My voice is scratchy and I can't scream anymore, my eyes are dry and my heart is raw and my head is numb. I wonder if I've finally just faded into the wallpaper and I can finally go to sleep and not wake up.
Oh dear heavens please, just give me a sign that things will get better.
Give me something to hold on too.

Black circles traced upon my hand,
mind wandering off into space shuttles plunging into the ocean,
and radiation heat waves crumpling our hearts.
Walk away, don't look back.
Wipe away your doubts and drown your regret and keep looking forward,
because at some point the past won't matter
and we'll be single cells again
and we'll find our way back to this same exact place,
so perhaps we should be leaving breadcrumbs
to help the others along on their way.
Paranoia creeping up your spine as you turn around
to face the devil of your mistakes.
Turn around and don't look back. If you don't fuel them they can't touch you.

Puffs of powder.
There is chalkboard lines scraping the counter.
Blood stains lining my mouth.
Long legs mostly showing.
This is not even high enough to be a blouse.
I forget why im here.
Side effects, I need no vice.
My ankles are cracking
But its all worth the fair price.
Thank you for wonder bras.
And the men who need help unbuttoning there pants.
Take me away, this is not me.
I promise this is not me.
I hope this is not me,

I'd like to love you, I'd really like too.
I'd like for you to hold me, and have me feel like thats where I belong.
I'd like it to be a fairytale. I'd like to want you to save me.
I wish I could dream of you, every night. Have you always in my thoughts.
I wish I wouldn't feel right 'till I was with you. And we were together.
I wish I only had eyes for you, and never thought about that paper boy, or the Man on the moon.
I wish it were that simple because, I do love you. But not even close to enough.
Because It feels awkward when you hold me, and I have never wanted you to save me. I don't dream about you, and when I think of you I get sad. I don't feel right when I'm with you, And I can't look at you without seeing someone elses eyes. I wish I could, I really do. And I wish it didn't have to end this way but it does, and i'm sorry for that.
Please don't think that i'm mean. I never wanted to trick you. Because, I think your a great human being. I really hope you find her, and I hope she finds you too. And you guys will be in love, and I will be a tiny dust particle in the littlest part of your brain.
Because in all honesty, I am just not cut out for love or to be happy