And just like that,
people plucked their
stems away from
my roots
and carried
on
without me.
I have struggled,
to accept this
as fact.
And even more,
to not let it
bother me.
I used to look
at my sensitivity
like a gift.
I believed
it gave me empathy
where others
would not feel it.
I do not
look at it
as a gift anymore.
I feel it as chains
wrapped so tightly
around my heart,
keeping it
tied tightly,
to places
it should no be.
I feel everything,
like a spike
within me.
I keep things in,
bottle them up.
Burdens that are not mine,
nor given to me.
Burdens that I took
without reason,
or knowledge.
I bear the weight
of the world around me.
I would kiss the feet,
of those who would
love me.
For I love
too many,
who never give me
a second thought.

There are unintended mazes in your words,
fire brimmed hoops that I must jump
perfectly through,
in order to keep you happy.
Every other word I say is a trigger
pulled,
and I will watch as you flinch,
and prepare your attack.
I am growing so tired,
of being sensored
and cautious.
I am so sick,
of this maze.

Swimming through  
a                                           Dark
Sea, drowning
within my own                  Thoughts
I need some light
but when                             Will
the happiness flow?
I feel as though I may        Break
underneath the words
no one has even said to      Me.

I tried to long,
and to hard,
to stand out.
For a while,
maybe I did.
I like to think,
I was colorful
and excited,
but everything
fades with
time and
the dark words
that have eroded
my heart
did not help
slow the dulling.
I like to think,
that once I was neon
but now,
I am only gray.

I will warp my soul
to conform into your
mouse trap
heart.
And I will only feel
a little
of it's
snap.
I am not the bait,
I am not the mouse
I am just a meer
window shopper,
and I am not sure how
to feel about that

Once I had Ideas
             of what love should be.

And I'll tell you the truth,
             The colors were brighter than this.

Tears were myths and smiles plenty.
              But that's not quite how it goes..

So are we wrong? Is this not love?
              Maybe, maybe not.

I've compromised so much,
            to make you feel okay.

To keep you in my arms,
            when all I feel is pain.

You can't even be alone with me,
            you think I am a bore.

So what am I left to feel?
          That you love me too?

I try my hardest to believe,
          I mean something to you.

I ******* love you,
I ******* love you, and I don't know what to do.
When I hold you in my arms, it scares me.
It scares me too care about someone like that.
And when you tell me that you love me too,
It scares me even more.
Because either you're lying,
In which case, you'll hurt me worse than anyone ever has.
Or could.
Or if there's a small chance you're telling the truth?
Then I'm never going to be able to let you go.

Sometimes I just want to run.
I want to run away from it all,
From you,
Just to see if you'd follow me.
If I mean that much to you,
that maybe you don't want to let me go either.

When I look at you,
All I can think is how perfect you are.
And it scares me,
because I think,
what does he see, when he looks at me?