The moon rises, and the sea glistens with the desire to reach out and touch you.
The waves pull you under and you are caught in the dance between sea and stars, the tango of the currents.
You feel what love is for the first time.
Ferocious, endless, unobtainable, reckless.
Sinking into the salty, inky depths, you feel love is also steady, quiet, intimate, all-encompassing.
A hand tows you to the surface and onto the shore.
You gasp at the invasion of oxygen;
you thank the man who saved you from such a committed relationship.

The pillows are arranged
the chairs all un-sat in
my bedclothes pressed
as if no one has slept in them

My desk is tidy
the pens in a jar
notebooks stacked
as if I never struggle

My shelves are full
novels organized by author
the remote next to the TV
as if I never indulge

The floor is spotless,
the carpet is straight
the shoes in are rows
as if I never go anywhere

My bedroom, newly cleaned
stares at me
with wide blinds
and an open door


As if I am a stranger

We hadn't spoken
Too much had been left unsaid
Now silence sits there

Collecting the dust
Like one of your projects
Waiting to be fixed

Never forgotten
But not cared for as it was
Left 'till much too late

You left suddenly
A quick fix out the back door
Me left unfinished

Still,

I'll remember you
As I choose to- the Tinker
Everything just so

You'd sit at your bench
Stripping the wood of varnish
Bringing out beauty

Polish here, dust there
Every detail adjusted
Perfection strived for

Now that you are gone
Your antiques your legacy
I'll remember you

For the good in you
And I will try to forgive
you the dark hours

I will have to start
Mending memories that you built
A Tinker's daughter

Rewiring my grief
Sitting at your workbench and
Stripping it of guilt

Sit and watch, Tinker
Watch me try to mend a heart
Left in disrepair

Polish here, dust there
Every detail adjusted
Acceptance strived for

I was told about the goodness of men,
Their valour, fortitude and chivalry
Riding in on gleaming horseback.
They would lead poorer souls into battle,
Liberate distressed ladies from gilded cages
And stave away the beasts of sin.

When I heard these marvelous tales
A fierce hunger awoke within me.
I began to search for an ivory tower
To lock myself in
That a man so great might come to find me.

I thought that I had met such a man
His armour resplendent,
His smile easy and compliments quick.
He led me forth with promises of fortune.
He presented me with crimson roses,
And oft he sang to me in sweet voice.

I was satiated, my hunger quelled
With what I thought to be a golden hero.
But as the roses waned and his voice wilted,
I found that he had faults and secrets like any other-
That his bravery was bruised with cowardice.
In fact, he was absolutely ordinary,
And as God-fearing as the rest of us.

From the very beginning you’ve had thunder in your mind
and lightning in your heart-you struck with no warning,
Beautiful and awesome and all-consuming.
You stirred up pain like a hurricane,
Short circuiting logic and reason with beauty and fire.

Forest fires often raced through your veins-
Although one could argue for arson,
Boys starting gasoline- soaked infernos that burned bright and died,
Leaving blackened roots behind.

You took the whole world in stride,
Stepping like landslides the earth moved beneath you;
You left victims in your wake,
Shaken and changed by the shape of your feet.

You felt changes like earthquakes.
Buildings shattered with your realizations,
The glass fragmenting into opinions ideas connections that left you shaken.

Your anger erupted like volcanoes-
Emotions bubbling under the surface until they blew sky high,
Magma, hot and molten that spat up and consumed everything in its path.

Depression hit you like a tsunami.
A monumental wave that roared up
And crashed
over everything and everyone that ever loved you.

Then there was drought,
All the distractions died out and your cracks beginning to show,
Widening as you lose yourself in the ebb and flow of compassion.

And your future is as uncertain as a tornado.
It’s up in the air and we don’t know where it’s going to touch down;
Which house it’s going to rip apart next.

Chaotic unveiling
A tangle of desperate heat
And numbing chills

The labored breaths of
Passionate caution

Sweet adventure with a
Grippingly commonplace
Pattern

Noticing each smooth
Imperfection in the
Harsh fluorescent darkness

Secretly conscious of your
Awkward grace in the
Fluid transition of
Angles and sides

The indignation of
Chaste, stolen
Caresses
And-

Too quick

It’s over, fading into
Uncomfortable aftermath

Subtracting yourself
Adding your modesty
Dividing your dignity

And leaving.

Maybe
It is genetic
Genes
Passed down like these
Worn out jeans
I got from my dad
This would be from daddy too

Maybe
I just need something to blame
For my
Anger
Abandonment
Hate
Lack of *** appeal

Maybe
I mean,
I cry all the time
For the absence of ease
For liquor
For love

Maybe
I want to have a problem I can actually
Fix
Instead of creating a mess of
Duct tape and angst
Hide the problem
Behind the adhesive

Maybe
I don’t want to just
Smile vaguely
While others
laugh loudly
Sharing a zeal
I once had