A soft rain falls
From the light gray sky.
If you don't look closely,
It seems
There is no rain at all.
Water running in small
Rivers down the hill and
Across the grass.
Like veins of blood
Circulating to a beating
Heart.
Thick, big drops of
Waterfall from the
Tree branches.
In puddles there are
Ripples.
And yet...
if you don't look closely,
It seems
There is no rain at all.

In my head even though it's already full,
Of webs and dust,
Pull the light,
My glass is half empty,
Now and yet I still run after the,
Stars and push them as far back in my,
Head as they will go,
I try so hard to be,
As happy as you are,
But I'm afraid it's not,
Enough.

I write poems in the middle of class.
And write lists of things that
Rhyme with your name.
I don’t know if im gonna pass,
I just wanna know if you feel the same pain.
Because after you left the cast
Of characters in my life,
The acts and scenes just haven’t been the same.
That you would forgive and give me another chance,
Is all I ask;
Because with you around
I feel like I have so much fame.
But now I know I have just one task:
Try and forget all the times we made;
I’m gonna try. Real. Hard. To forget your name.

I will bite down on my knuckles till they bleed,
I will try to forget all of the things we’ve seen.
I will bite down on the end of my pen
Until it busts;
And there is black ink in my mouth.
I will spit as much as I can.
I will swish around some water
And spit some more.

And it’s these tantrums I throw when I
Don’t get my way.
These tantrums I throw that will
Never make anything okay.

I’m gonna try real hard to forget your name.

Why is the bird able to fly,
When it can always crash?
Why is it able to go so high,
Only to come down and be smashed?

The bird I found,
Probably a Robin I think.
Was killed from a hound,
Or some other natural thing,
Either way it was downed.

My thoughts said to bury it,
Let it Rest In Peace,
But I couldn't come to bear it,
And instead let it be.

Then I realized one thing,
A price is to paid for living,
Everything that goes up must come down,
And ultimately we all have to come to grips,
When death comes around.

Courage to say sorry,
Or even,
Goodbye.
I'm leaving soon you see?
Our time is up soon.
It is my fault.
My love has come quickly,
Turning around,
Your ankles and dragging you,
To the depths of my own,
Despair,
Like a,
Waterfall.

I am still in my past,
I realized after much thought,

That is all I do any more,
Is think,
Thinking still even now,
For words to contain...
My,
Sorrow,
Pain,
Heartache,

I am still in my past,
I realized after much thought...

She likes the smell of cigarettes and cologne.
And she will stay up all night on her phone.
She has long hair, longer than anyone here,
We would jump off of cliffs,
Cuz you would never show any fear.

I’m sitting at the bottom—
Thinking of you,
I’m sitting at the bottom—
Crying over you.

I sigh,
As you start to cry.
Telephone wires keep our conversation high.
I throw my phone,
After you say goodbye.
But in my ear
I can still hear,
The ‘end call’ tone.

I can't stop,
This feeling,
Why do you do this,
Making me like you?

The stony smile was so mystical yet distant.
It's cold castle of rage was eternal.
All alone, like an eclipse at twilight.
It's voice of courage giving in to disaster.
Left in an evergreen sea of fire.

thanks for encouraging my imagination and creativity
when you basically told me i *******

you'll be the first person i'll tell
it's all a bunch of *******...
your just a hypocrite...
and i'm just a ****...
i would sing you songs until you stab me
i would only raise an octave at the sight of the blood.
i would write you poems until you cut off my fingers,
i would put the pen in my mouth and write with my teeth if i had to.
you could run away
and i could follow.

you said "i love you" sounds to fake.
and "i hate you" sounds just right.
and i won't lie,
it's a long walk from my house to yours.

i would fight your boyfriend if i had to,
and you could be my best friend if you wanted to,
but we both know
that im an introvert
and your that weird thing
to where you like to talk to everyone.

and i guess im typing and babbling now,
but that just explains the fact
you told me to calm down,
and stop smoking
cuz you thought i would get cancer or something.

but i was young and didn't think i had to care about that stuff
now im older and know that i should.

Bottom lip puckered,
Begging for things
Wanted and needed.

Wanting-
Pleasure,
Reassurance,
Another chance.
"Is it too far away?"
I ask,
Wanting-
An answer.

Needing-
A reason to
Smile,
Laugh,
Live.
Needing-
A reason.

A soft rain falls
From the light grey sky.
If you don’t look closely,
It seems
There is no rain at all.
Water running in small
Rivers down the hill and
Across the grass.
Like veins of blood
Circulating to a beating
Heart.
Thick, big drops of
Water fall from the
Tree branches.
In puddles there are
Ripples.
And yet…
If you don’t look closely,
It seems
There is no rain at all.

If all I did was write poems,
I’d be writing for days and days.
If all I did was homework,
I’d **** myself in many different ways.
If all I did was work I didn't want to do,
I’d make sure I’d get paid.
If all I did was sing songs,
I’d have to find a guitar to play.
If all I did was sit around eating,
My best friend would be Lay’s.

Where did the time go
When you were on top of me?
And still we laid there loving
And laughing
Until someone caught us

Pools of shimmering
Glitter.
Brighter than holy
Stars.
Reflecting and I
Feel ***** in your
Sight.
Across the classroom
I request a trip to the
Bathroom.
Just to check in the mirror
To see if I am still
Alive.

Inside of my head:
It is lighter than white,
And it’s darker than black.
Inside my chest it’s all tight,
Like my hearts in a sack.
Before I fall asleep, I try not to think;
My eyes start watering up and I can hardly blink.
It’s like walking up forty flights of stairs to my own plight.
I want to climb up just for the sight.
But whenever I look up at the night,
You are the only thing I see tonight.
I’m up in the air like a kite,
Then I fall to the bottom before I can find flight.
It’s like I’m living in another day or another time.
And in my fear of losing myself, I lose my mind.

Down this lonely road,
Trees hang over with a melancholy tone.
I carry a burdensome load,
Which I have hardly ever shown.

Along these yellow lines I walk,
I know the end of the path is near.
Everything is silent, so I refuse to talk,
When it is dark I shall show no fear.

I lift my head to see the way,
I will close my eyes for only a moment.
At the end I know I will pay,
For things I said and did: thus atonement.

These scars I carry will eventually fade,
When I choose to stop reopening them.
I cannot stop here in the shade,
For I have a while to walk past them.

Five years now I have fallen down,
A lonely path never trodden.
I pretend to wear a gem filled crown,
Only to feel it and find it rusted and sodden.




My coat is wet and worn,
My shoes’ tread long gone.
My shirt is ***** and torn,
But I choose to walk on.

Because at the end of this dark path I see,
A home worth walking towards.
With a family who truly loves me,
I have no choice but to walk forward.

I love you.

This is for the lions in the broken down chests
Of my chain smoking friends.
This is for the snakes in the heads of people I
Don’t necessarily like.
This is for anyone above the ground,
The people doing “great” and “fine”.
But this is mostly for the ones that have no
Where to go. And nothing to do.
This is for those below.

For a time I felt like I was drowning.
My feet were solid, but my head was below water.
I was the Titanic, I wasn’t supposed to sink.
You were an iceberg, you came out of nowhere.
And we all know where that story ends.

You say you’re confident with the decision you made,
But I hear you crying over the phone.

And anyone who’s ever lost someone
Close to them.
And anyone who’s ever lost someone
Who loved them back,
It may feel like you are 70 miles below the ground.
Just remember that the further you go down,
The farther you come up the other side.
And you may end up in China or Antarctica.
But at least you are above the ground.

Things Fall Down,
And Get Up
Again Before It’s
Too Late To
Be Fou­nd Again.

Things Fall Down,
What If They
Didn’t Get Up
Again? Wh­ere Would
I Be Now?

Things Fall Down.
So Get Up
The Next Time
Yo­u Fall. Make
A Next Time.

I find peace is when I
Write.
The pen is no longer a
Pen.
My mouth is no longer a
Mouth.
The pen is a mouth,
Talking.
Not only talking but,
Screaming.
And sometimes it’s only
Whispering.
Sometimes I write what happened that
Day.
But mostly I write about my
Past.
Trying to collect my memories on
Paper.
Putting the stories in chronological
Order.
Trying. Always trying to
Remember.

Just because
You put spaces in the middle
Of your sentences
Does not give you
The right to call it
Poetry

You made your decision,
Now I'm making mine...

Eight Months Clean

Some people love freely,
And end up with a broken heart.
Some people hide away,
And never encounter love’s strange ways.
And still some walk on
With c a u t i o n.
Taking risks only every now and then.
And the ones they love,
Slowly chip away at their heart.
At least they can say,
“I tried anyways.”

I don’t care if you’ve got long hair,
If it’s short or if it’s pink.
I don’t care if you’re short as a stump,
Or tall as a tree.
All I care is how much you love.
Is it a little,
Or a lot?
If we were to fight,
Would it be right,
To put some space in the middle?

To say sorry.

For her,
As it always should have been.
For her,
As it always should be.
For her,
When her heart is full of grief,
And she is crying over me.

After the silence settles
Like dust.
We hardly feel dumb struck.
Sideways glances—
To say with my eyes:
For her.

And her long hair,
And her loud voice,
And the long walks,
And the loud laughs,

Will never be mine again.
--For her.

and if i could take you back
what then?
your heart would still have the scars
of being left behind
im more sorry than ever
ya know
and i know i could never
change all the times i told you i loved you
because they were heartfelt
and true
because of you
i dont know where i am anymore
and im scared you will move on
and not give me another chance
to prove to you
what i really am
what we could really be
please speak to me

I meant it when I said I
Love you

please, tell me you love me
that you'll never leave
perhaps
i'll stay too

She walks upon skies of stars,
And talks the talk of flowers.
If only I could be of her race:
Beauty.
Her laughter obnoxious and free.
She doesn't care who hears or sees.
Why should she?
She is always happy,
With or without me.
It seems....
I can't stop thinking about her,
Because,
She walks upon skies of stars.
Every step she takes a new
Constellation is made and
Named after her.
And she talks the talk of flowers.
Every word a petal or a thorn.
Every sentence a daisy or a rose.
If only I could be of her race:
Beauty.

I start writing
I express my life
If only
You could see
Me for who
I am

Spilled off the page,
There in the grass.
All the a’s, b’s, c’s
Lay alone.
The words spun around my head and
Helped me forget
All the things I hate to think of.
Spread out across the leaves,
My imagination
Lay alone.
And cold.
So I picked back up the
Letters
And words
And sentences,
Till they formed
Back together again.