To say sorry.

Snow falls outside my window,
Fog turned against the glass,
Like a monster trying to free itself,
From the cold outside,
My own breath,
Matched against the glass,
My breath and the cold fog,
Separated by a pane of,
Glass.
But never met.

Black ink against white paper,
You took the wrapper off your favorite flavor,
Eyes met mine and begged for a favor,
I resisted,
But you insisted,
That I,
Talked to you late at night,
Like the moon does with its favorite star,
You,
Shined brighter than the sun,
Reflected and spread like dust against mars,
I couldn't resist your cuteness,
So I made jokes to explain my rudeness,
And you laughed and forgot about the brokenness of our track
I took your heart and pinned it up with a tack,
I wrote words of meaning on your ventricles,
Until one day my pen pierced one of your valves,
It was my fault your blood spilled on the floor,
That familiar feeling of guilt came knocking on my door,
You took your heart,
Ran away to mend your wounds,
Treated me with silence until my loose paper was few,
The poems flew,
And most were for you,
My pen is out of ink and now my heart is out of room.

Find notebook
Rip everything out of it
Tear the pages to tiny pieces
Light the tiny pieces on fire
**** on the fire to put it out
Leave ash and puddle of **** on floor
Forget about dreams of becoming a writer
Lay down and cry

Music and poetry,
Sadness and memories,
School work and hell,
Blankets and snow,
IFHY and ILY
Terms,
Correlations,
Differences,
And connections.

I want to...
Forget everything that has happened,
Forget everything,
Isn't that what they say?
Ignorance is bliss?
Or am I just confusing terms,
Like I did when I was with you.

It is so hard to tell what is,
The difference,
Between pain,
And laughter,
Because even when you laugh,
That ring and shine to it,
Is just gone....

The bells of your voice overpowering then,
Are lost somewhere,
Perhaps I stole it, eh?
Like you stole my heart,
That was so long ago,
And the pain of now overpowers those memories.

I remember the brightness of your voice,
I remember the color of your eyes,
I remember the way you liked to be held,
What?
Oh yes,
Even those half-way hugs,
The quick ones before you took your bus home,
I remember those too.
But do you?

I wonder if you would let me return what was stolen.
I wonder and think,
And think and wonder aloud,
Sometimes in my sleep.
Would you let me give you back your bells?

I miss the ring of your voice,
I even listen hard in class for you to speak out,
Just to hear you.
Just to listen to the sweet,
But hurt,
Words that come from your mouth.

Silence hurts far worse than any,
Guilt,
Or mourning.
Please speak.
Please.

Like a song that never sings,
The music I once heard from your lips,
Are to never return,
Is it?

Like the colors you used to make up,
No one else could see them,
But oh,
You see them all too clearly now.

And the noises, the smells, the feelings,
They all rush back to you don't they?
But oh,
You aren't to say one word of these things.

Besides you promised yourself,
One poem,
Wouldn't bring you back to him,
Begging on you knees!

Your pride,
Oh how your pride stings me,
But soon,
You die like the bees at the unkown spots,


Hiding from me,
And the rest of the world,
And how you put on your show,
Pretending your fine.