How can you lose something you never had?
Can you truly miss it? Are you truly sad?

Believing creates existence in your physical mind
And once it takes over your heart, you ignore every sign

Until reality comes forth, and smacks you in the face
SCREAMS it at you, until you lose your faith and grace

It Never was yours, you were blind to believe it!
It will Never be yours, you're still blind if you can't see it!

But it Was real that day, I could feel it, I could smell it, I could see it.
You're lying! I won't let you take it away! I had plans, I was in-love, I need it!

It was hope, an inspiration, a clear mind, I never felt free-er
Now It's gone, a declaration, a fine, I'm no longer that believer

Thank you Reality, for setting me straight
I needed that check and to be put in my place

Life goes on, not as sweet, but honest without faith
Eyes wide open, heart closed and walls up, I'm safe.

Great poets don't need to cut themselves
They don't ever need to retreat
They're stronger and more vibrant
Than just the literature on these sheets
They've all been through hell on Earth
And will begin to endure much more
Because their souls so ache for their hearts to bleed
They're in love with the feeling before
it all gets resolved, before it comes together
Some cut so they can feel themselves
But true poetry feels so much better

Like judgement without a stone
A man without a home
You were there

Like a cat without a mouse
A teenage girl without a louse
You were there

Like a hunter without a gun
Like bare skin without the sun
You were there

Like a politician without a crime
Like warfare without a dime
You were there

An unwavering sea
With the weapons to hurt me
You were there

Making love to my soul
Love able to fold
You were there

Standing with power
Rescued me from my tower
You were there

Refusal to use
Tools that abuse
You were there

Like a plague that was shared
Like true love loud declared
You were there

Raw Me
Raw Feet
Raw Meat
Raw Feed
Raw Seed
Raw to me
Raw to she?
Raw
Live happily

I like to play so many games

I'm just a little girl

I'm a 21 year old woman

Welcome to my naughty world!

So many men have tried to play

But no one ever wins

Before you can even enter start

You must commit at least two sins

They try so hard and sweat and tear

But each one lands on trouble

That's the box where they fall in love

And their hearts grow to double

I'll feel a little bad

Because I'll know they'll be sad

But it's not my fault

They ****** up when they fell in love

And now their turn is over

Their game is done.

It's only 3 little words that I want to hear

But it's those 3 little words he seems to fear

I know he will say them, I just have to wait

But sometimes words come just one day too late

I want to tell him, it's like a fire inside

But I don't want to scare him, those three words I must hide

Why can't he say them is what worries me most

Could he love another? Maybe not over an old ghost

I am not jealous or paranoid, only that answer I fear

What keeps him from telling me what I've been so patient to hear

That question is evil, it drives me insane

It makes me think things. It becomes a big game

I think he's only with me 'til she's back on the market

I'll end up alone, burnt, and broken hearted

Can it be real, if it's so hard for him to say?

Am I wasting more time with each new passing day?

This poem is about my boyfriend and I love him so

Does he love me in return? I do not know

If actions speak louder than words, I believe it is true

God please help me, I really wish I knew

But he is a very honest man, I want you to know

I asked him once before. His answer was "no."

Could it be he grew up without love

Could it be he could not tell what it was

It started out we were just having fun

If he ever left now, my heart would be done

So I think, sometimes I should go

If he ever will love me, I don't even know

He told me, after us, to heal his heart would take many years

Still from my eyes, out dropped a few tears

I thought it meant he loved me, but the words never came

Will he ever say them? Will he ever feel the same?

I am only 21, so this is okay for right now

But how long do I have to wait for his heart to make that vow

So I still think sometimes I should go

How long can I wait for his heart to know?

I never was that girl that wanted to marry

After only two months I was already weary

Commitment for me was was too steep

I was known as the girl never to leap

The chances I've taken never really counted

I would rip out their hearts and on my wall they are mounted

I would cheat all the time, then be honest with them

With every new guy, out the door my soul went

Deep down inside I was really just scared

What if I found it, that feeling, that flair?

Open up and get hurt? It's a thought I couldn't bare

In a thousand little pieces my whole heart would tare

So I dated in double digits, never just one

If my daddy didn't love me, love was no fun

Until one day, in the room walked a man

Now that day is known as the day my life began

Could it be true. love at first sight really exsists?

Two days went by, we had our first kiss

I couldn't believe it, he made my heart beat so fast

And then before I knew it, my two months had past

It was now time for me to let go

Before any feelings could start to show

I didn't want to do it, I was his new biggest fan

But if my daddy couldn't love me, how could this man?

What changed my life happened the very next day

He caught me surprised, off gaurd and amazed

In a bathroom at a party, he told his feelings to me

What he did next I couldn't believe

Just by holding my hand he set my heart free

I thought, what could he do with a kiss on the cheak?

Now it has been one year and a half

I remember my past lovers as I sit and look back

The longer I'm with him, I appreciate them more

Because they were the path that led me straight to his door

For the first time in my life, I hold nothing back

I give it my all. I want it to last

You've heard the saying, a dozen a dime

This man is priceless. He is one of a kind

I started out seeing him before my last was through

He was so great, but I wasn't ready. I didn't know what to do

I told him I didn't want a relationship and still he persists

We were inseperable. Every moment was bliss

I never had my independent freedom, but he was worth so much more

I still needed to breathe alone. Instead we bought the keys to our first door

It was our home. I was so happy! I knew I had done right

And then crept in urges to be single. I guess I lost that fight

He was so in love and I would have been too

If he gave me the time and space I first needed to do what I had to do

I cared for this man so much you must know

I was at a crossroads. I was falling in love

Still of my own time I could not let go

I cried for days after I cheated on him

I had to tell him of my lower than life sin

He left for days and that's when I realized

There went my whole life, I felt paralyzed

But our true love shun through and he came back

I was so happy! Our life seemed perfect after that

But eventually he got too busy for me and that really hurt inside

We didn't do the things we use to. I wondered "where was his mind?"

So I did what the old me knew to do best

I partied and partied. I didn't even come home to rest

And I mind ****** myself until I lost my reality

And then once more I ****** up. I committed our relationship's fatality

I was so drunk I couldn't remember, but when I did was ashamed

How could I do something so stupid?! All I really wanted was my man's last name

I had never lied to my love before, but this time how could I confess?

I couldn't risk losing him again! God, I made such a huge mess!

To pretend it never happened at all so hard I did try

I would make excuses Like "it was just a kiss" and " I didn't care about that guy"

Things became normal again. We were happy and true

I thanked God over and over! I was looking forward to saying "I Do"

Little did I know I wasn't off the hook just yet

My past came back to haunt me. It reared it's ugly head

Someone had recorded that kiss and knew my man's cell

They wanted to break us up and through via text they did tell

He sat on it for days while it boiled up inside

He waited to use it against me and when he did I did die

Since he left me I haven't eaten at all. I just sit and I cry

The dream that "3 times a Charm" is what keeps me alive

It took me a while to know what I wanted and how to handle my hard times

He really is my last true love. I pray one day he will feel the same way inside

He showed me his heart

And said "Baby, come inside.

It may not be the warmest place

But I'll show you a good time."

I really wasn't ready

So I said "No thanks, Goodbye.

I need more time to pass

Before I take another ride."

He said "What's the matter, Baby?

Are you scared 'cause I don't bite."

I told him "I just broke up with him,

It's too soon, just doesn't feel right."

He said "That guy doesn't want you anymore

But don't do this out of spite.

Do it 'cause you want to, Baby,

I'll give you the time of your life!

I just wanna make you happy

Even if it's temporary.

It's those cryptic blues

That keep me so I can't stop starring!."

And he said "That guy never loved you.

Deep down inside you know I'm right.

Give me one real chance, Babe.

Let me be the one to tuck you in a night!"

When it came down to it

You were just another guy

My eyes are dry now

Not a tear, not a cry

You've already been replaced ***

In only a month I'm over you

That month was three years ago

The month after you became true

I would laugh in your face

When you'd say you loved me

I'm a heartless *****, remember

I never felt a thing

When you left I was torn

And then I felt so mad

Now I realize what that was

It was my ego you hurt bad

Don't you see I never cared

It was only my bed, with you, that I ever shared

So go on with your new life

I hope you feel real happy and free

Something I haven't felt in three years

Because you took that from me

Even heaven is hell without you here

Every minute is an hour 'til you draw near

I can feel you getting closer as my eyes come together

Everything's okay again, you say this time's forever

We hug, we kiss, we wrestle and cuddle

You lay down the towel to soak my teary puddle

You bought your tuxedo and I found my white dress

We are so happy again, our love is endless

Right when I think things couldn't possibly be better

I wake to the only thing I have left of you

your old torn sweater

He's got this GQ swagger

And I can't complain

I just wanna hit his sheets

And hear him say my name

But it aint just that

Let me be on tha real

Imma lay down my pride

And let ya know how I feel

He's got this way with words

They call him the Extrodinaire

His flow and his style

Don't even try ta compare

I got him on my mind

And I'm actin a fool

I'm losin tha grind

All a sudden I aint too cool

I've known him for so long

And neva really knew him at all

And what's crazy **** cool

Is he might be tha one ta finally make me fall

I've neva been in love

Not in it's truest form

I neva even wanted it

But this fool has me trippin and torn

He's not really my type

But I can't name what he lacks

I feel like a high school girl

He just took me ten years back

He's mysterious and funny

He's **** and sweet

I know that he wants me

But he's too cool on tha street

He knows tha homie wants it

So he's gonna gimme up easy

He didn't count on losin me

Would make his **** queezy

He's already hooked and he don't know why

Now he's got that gangsta lean

And some buttaflies

I'm so sick of hearin it

Everyone says I put up a wall

Why bother tryin to achieve

Something real after what I saw

Ya know there's no respect

Yeah they may love each other

What would you prefer

If you had to choose one or the other

Love is only a mood

It's a ******* rollercoaster

Today it's all good

Tomorrow it's ******* over

So why set myself up

Just to let myself fall

I guess I just don't get it

I need more experience to make this call

Could love be worth all this

Is there gain with this pain

The lack of respect

This ludicrous shame

To each his own

So you decide

But as for me...

I'm gonna let this one slide

What he is

Ain’t what he’ll be

Just wait a while

Baby then you’ll see

Hit hard times

And he will change

This tale is old

They’re all the same

Don’t fall in love

It’ll tare you apart

Protect yourself baby

Block Cupid’s dart

It’s full of poison

It will make you believe

The complete opposite

From even what you see

Why did you trust me

I am the Devil's spawn

I begged you not to fall in love

I knew I'd hurt you all along

It was a matter of time

Before you saw the real me

Deep down inside I'm a huge mess

It's not a pretty scene

I don't know how you did it

You made Me fall in love

I don't even have a heart

I've been scorned from up above

You must have given me a piece of yours

I'm sorry you won't get it back

It's not the same anymore

It's damaged, corroded,

It looks disgusting and black

You have a gift that can't be mistaken

You do it over and over

And you will again with my replacement.

No more coke and hennessy

I'm just sippin on this mai tai

Chillin wit my girls

I'm checkin out this fly guy

He's workin up his nerve

But baby boy is so shy

Hold up here he comes

And **** girl he's so fine

Yep we're goin home now

Just him and I, he's all mine

I can't wait ta be alone now

He's got me feelin so high

And ya know it took him no time

Before he had me screamin "Oh My..."

He's tha best I eva had

And ya know this mama don't lie

He said he likes it rough

And yes ya know I do bite

Talk ***** to me daddy

And we'll keep this goin all night

This kittys been on lockdown

And her **** is feelin so tight

He's so smooth when he licks his lips

This **** has got me so right

Out tha door before I fall for him

And afta this ya know I just might

Dancin on this fool

I was gettin low low

When I looked across the room

I saw this **** cholo

He was all up on this girl

But his body sayin no no

Until he looked at me

He was G walkin real slow

Put his hands on mine

My body's feelin his flow

Dancin so serene

We was goin toe ta toe

Feelin so ****

Like a strippa gettin so low

He wants ta take me home

So I told my baby let's go

The way he kissed my neck

My heart was feelin like whoa

He put a spell on me

Now all I want is him yo

He was shaking and trembling

As he leaned and kissed me

He was shaking and trembling

As he got on one knee

He pulled out this paper

He wrote a whole speach

What was I hearing

From this love ******* leach

He said I was the one

He wanted to spend his life with

But I don't believe in fairytales

And this monogomy myth

You only think you love me

Because I'm so honest with you

And my honesty will never change

Just like I'll never be true

Please don't try to fix us

When there's nothing here to solve

Don't taint us with your *******

Don't let my loveless bliss disolve

I'm just keepin it real

I want more than just you

Trust this is better

I want you to see others too

As long as you can handle it

You'll stay thee man of my life

And you can always come home

After her at thee end of the night

No more chillin,

Just sweatin, I’m stressin

I’m rainin down blood from my eyes

Gotta be the best, Superior to the rest

I only wanna touch the skies

I’m bettin high stakes, make no mistake

On eggshells walkin through these land mines

I gotta be strong if I’m gonna prove him wrong

His looks alone pierce my heart like dull knives

I gotta change my ways to see different days

There’s more to me than just some good times

I never hurt so much til he walked in

But best believe he’s sendin me good vibes

There’s depth to his stares, he actually cares

My past lovers from himself he divides

He’s only givin tough love, no baby gloves

This aint a phase, he’s really changin both our lives

He told me passion is only a distraction

Who cares about your heart or the size

Results and achievments are what they want

But these are just a few words for the wise

Now I’m livin in better days, true to my new ways

I’ve released all these bindes and cut these ties

Now I’m just chillin,

No more sweatin, no stressin

I’m not goin back, no compramise.

I’m spiraling down

My past is a blur

I can see clearly now

No more wrong turns

Can I get it right this time?

Do I have what it takes to win?

I’m gonna give it all up

Rip off my blind fold and walk in

Into my new life

So free of dissaster

I’m getting so close

I hear singing and laughter

Skies are blue

Grey clouds are gone

I’ll be there in no time

Just gotta man up and be strong

There’s a lot to do

No time to waste

I’m craving my new life

My bright future I taste

I'll stand by your side

When the clouds are grey

I'll stand by your side

On the rainiest day

I'll lay down my pride

If it gets in the way

I'll lay down my pride

If it means you will stay

For the first time in my life

I'll be faithful and true

For the first time in my life

I'll mean "I love you"

I don't need to drink

And party all night

I don't need to drink

And miss you holding me tight

I never wanted kids

But you opened that door

I never wanted kids

And now I want four

Your heart sang to me slowly

And so softly you said

While your heart sang to me slowly

'With this ring, I thee wedd'

Does it mean the same to me

That it means to you?

Is it your dreamland paradise?

Can these dreams come true?

Is it meeting your soulmate

Or finally achieving your MBA?

Maybe it is just staying sober

And taking it day by day

Is it a mood or a lifetime

Or only a wonderland?

Can it be Heaven on Earth?

Does it have to be free of the ******?

It is "The Promise Land",

According to Webster's definition

That's what we once called America,

Have we maintained this characterization?

"Fairytale-land" is one more synonym

If this is true, let's use Disney's example

Bitter stories with exuberant endings

The possibilities are prepetual and ample

Are we all living in our land of enchantment?

Is Utopia what we create and decide?

Can we have a miserable paradise

If that's how we live in our minds?

I've had so many hard times

But if you ask I want you to know

I only count the eminent in-betweens

I only live in the moments that glow

You only have one life to live

So now you better decide

Are you living in your Utopia?

And is it what you visioned in your mind?

Do I make you happy?

The way you make my eyes wanna shine?

Do I make you happy?

The way you make my heart wanna cry?

They're tears of joy fallin down from grace

When I'm with you, there's no better place

But now you're gone and I miss you

The rain won't stop, God, Please take me too!

Why'd you leave me?

Why did you have to go?

Don't you see me here?

I'm sittin all alone.

When you're lookin down,

What do you see?

My refelction in the window

Starrin back at me

Why'd you leave me?

Why did you have to go?

Don't you see me here?

I'm sittin all alone.

Do I make you happy?

The way you make my eyes wanna shine?

And do I make you happy?

The way you make my heart wanna cry?

Oh pretty diamonds in the sky

You always tell me such sweet lies

I look at you when I want to see

That flawless diamond meant for me

Where is he? May I have a clue?

Where's the one to whom I'll be true?

Does he think of me or where we'll meet?

Will he keep looking until we're complete?

I want the one that'll leave me in a fever

Forget all my woes and make me a believer

A one night stand that lasts forever

Let's take a chance and pull the lever

How will I know when his face I see?

Will there be a sign? A big marquee?

These sceptics I must soon defeat

Before my heart is one and I retreat

Oh pretty diamonds way up there

Please send my great everlasting love affair

I felt him in my bones

The very first time we met

When I smelt his cologne

And my heartbeat against his chest

We have so much in common

****, he's the man of my dreams

But I'll remain a skeptic

Until I get behind his scenes

The more of him that I desire

The more I fall away

I keep hoping he'll push through

And demand to me he stay

Tell me not to sabotage

And love him day by day

It's fate that just made our bed

And I'd be foolosh not to lay

But I want real passion, Love

So please don't you hide it

Every day you put out the fire

I think it's time to light it?

I'm just takin it one day by one day

A mile at a time, I'm walkin my life away

I'm tryin to help find this cancerous cure

Walkin with true hearts, golden and pure

How much money and time will you put down

When we're gambling with innocent lives all around

It could be you, him, them, or she

Your best friend, or lover, your neighbor, or me

So let's get together and put up a fight

Hands across America and let's do what's right

If everyone only gave just a penny a day

In only a month that's over a million together we've raised

It doesn't matter how little or how much you put in

We just want you on our team, we need you to win

Let's show the ones that have yet to survive

The rest of their future we won't let cancer deprive

It's definitely true, only a miracle can save someone's life

But you can be that miracle and show them there's light.

I cannot lie
He said to me
Whispering fallacies
So gently
Give me your trust
I will repay you
Give me your love
I will betray you
Write your poems
Where you will hide
Write your poems
Unjustified
Perception is reality
And some unknown truths
What is loyalty to you
To me is misled youth
I come from a world
Indifferent to yours
The meaning of love
Is different than yours
To us it means loyalty
To yourself before one
Integrity
That was is right is what's done
There are no boundaries
To what you will be
Be true to yourself
And true love you will reap
Have *** with whomever
Just be honest about it
You never lost me
Our bond was never ever doubted
No one will judge you
Please come with me
We have but one law
Maintain Honesty.

This isn't the old me
Unable to feel rage
Rarely sad
Composed emotions
No, this isn't the old me
I didn't get mad, I became irate
I didn't get sad, I was suicidal
I wasn't happy, I was everything great
This isn't the old me
Happy every day
Sleeping with dry eyes
Waking without bags
This isn't the old me
Sleeping through the night
Days without a drink
Eating healthy
This isn't the old me
In love
Amazing love
Loyal love
This isn't the old me
Striving
Hopeful
Secure
This is me
Clear
Honest
Triumphant
This is me
Educated
Open
Unafraid
Yes, This is me
Stable
Long term
Skeleton free
This is me
Grateful
Accepting
Reasonable
This is me

I can do this all day
Watch the people pass
As I sit and play
In my mind
Nothing normal
Nothing the same
Ever changing
Ever-y day
I see you there
I see you here
With me now
Don't go away
I can't miss you
I can feel you
I can smell you
It's weak but strong
In my mind
While the people pass
And I sit and play

Love me until the end of time
So strong your love never leaves the atoms your body shares
Saturate each new particle with the love
we both wear
I love the smell of your breath
You love the wind in my ***** hair
Love so binding it hurts when we part
Love so intense, failure to express hurts my heart
Love bites, Love bears
Love notes, Love stares
With you my love,
Love is everywhere

My tail curls
No complaints
No restraints
Just my cage
My large apartment
A tiny compartment
When you spend your days
Experiencing such a small space
Compared to the world
My large apartment becomes a cage
I need to leave
Get out and wander
Be free
So much to see
But I'm equally free now
I won't leave
My beautiful cage
So I experience life through endless pages
Books surround me
I don't have to wonder about the character's lives
It is written
Yet still I wonder whys
I wander
In consecutive numerical order
Sorrow, joy, rage
Fill the page
And I'm free
In a world bigger than Earth
Blades of grass
Colors of gas
I'm free
In my large little cage
My tail curls