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She feeds on Fear. Feeds on past insults and old rotten words. Feeds on what ifs? and “what can I get away with?” Oh, she’s a clever one. She can be a dragon and a terror, but more often than not, she’ll make herself real small, like a tiny kitten. Nibble away at all that is Good without me noticing. [Just call them love bites.] Meows: *“play with me, play with me, I need the attention and you aren’t doing anything Important right now If you love me, play with me. Make me purr. Sure I scratch but you don’t really want me to leave. Make me purr. Sure I scratch but no one will know the difference.”* Get her purring and I am no longer myself. She is satisfied, temporarily. [Always temporarily. She’s always hungry]. And me? Who knows what I am, when she’s in control, except convinced that I love poisoned claws digging into my soul. I’m used to her, I love her, I swear. [I’m used to her.] The thing about Monsters is that they can shape shift. This is no Disney movie, no horror story, no evil step-mother to contend with and vanquish. A simple battle between Good and Evil. Monsters are not black and white. It’s all a mess of colors, you see. - Maybe the monsters within are not even truly Bad. Only: *afraid, hurt, wounded abandoned.* Trauma’s last defense against all that accumulated Hurt. Maybe the monster within can be tamed disarmed, declawed. Turned back into a kitten again. Tough, playful, protective. But not Destructive. Not a Terror. Not Deadly. - Don’t say for sure that there are no monsters lurking within you. Mine are loud. Yours might just be dormant. - [Tell me about your monsters within.]
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Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 6:12 PM UTC
The Monster Within
She feeds on Fear. Feeds on past insults and old rotten words. Feeds on what ifs? and “what can I get away with?” Oh, she’s a clever one. She can be a dragon and a terror, but more often than not, she’ll make herself real small, like a tiny kitten. Nibble away at all that is Good without me noticing. [Just call them love bites.] Meows: *“play with me, play with me, I need the attention and you aren’t doing anything Important right now If you love me, play with me. Make me purr. Sure I scratch but you don’t really want me to leave. Make me purr. Sure I scratch but no one will know the difference.”* Get her purring and I am no longer myself. She is satisfied, temporarily. [Always temporarily. She’s always hungry]. And me? Who knows what I am, when she’s in control, except convinced that I love poisoned claws digging into my soul. I’m used to her, I love her, I swear. [I’m used to her.] The thing about Monsters is that they can shape shift. This is no Disney movie, no horror story, no evil step-mother to contend with and vanquish. A simple battle between Good and Evil. Monsters are not black and white. It’s all a mess of colors, you see. - Maybe the monsters within are not even truly Bad. Only: *afraid, hurt, wounded abandoned.* Trauma’s last defense against all that accumulated Hurt. Maybe the monster within can be tamed disarmed, declawed. Turned back into a kitten again. Tough, playful, protective. But not Destructive. Not a Terror. Not Deadly. - Don’t say for sure that there are no monsters lurking within you. Mine are loud. Yours might just be dormant. - [Tell me about your monsters within.]
This one was actually kind of inspired by something my ex [who doesn't want to talk to me ever again as of a few days ago, go figure] wrote a year or two ago.
#self#harm#illness#mental#horror#monsters
Written by
anjana-rao
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 6:12 PM UTC
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