Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
nostalgixPoems
Today was my first good day. I took some pills to numb the pain away. They helped me focus too. I focused on my work so much in fact that I didn't stop to think of you. Then at twelve I took a break to get high, I wanted to feel light. I didn't zone out or get tired because the pills kept my mind rolling. I didn't think of death. I didn't think of pain. I didn't even contemplate how I ruined us. I thought of beautiful people, analyzed the flaws of capitalism, even reopened an old book. For the first time since you left, I didn't feel the urge to run away. I again longed to be my best self. I enjoyed the company of others. I didn't crave being alone. I felt today, for the first time since you broke me, the corners of my mouth curve up to form a toothy smile. And today I heard myself laugh again. I thought, that maybe today, I broke out of the oblivion of depression that you single handedly locked me in. But then I was reminded, that these magic pills of mine mimick happiness. I realized then, that the only way to escape manmade oblivion, is to stitch yourself into the ever present fabric of death.
0
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 12:10 AM UTC
3/20/14
Today was my first good day. I took some pills to numb the pain away. They helped me focus too. I focused on my work so much in fact that I didn't stop to think of you. Then at twelve I took a break to get high, I wanted to feel light. I didn't zone out or get tired because the pills kept my mind rolling. I didn't think of death. I didn't think of pain. I didn't even contemplate how I ruined us. I thought of beautiful people, analyzed the flaws of capitalism, even reopened an old book. For the first time since you left, I didn't feel the urge to run away. I again longed to be my best self. I enjoyed the company of others. I didn't crave being alone. I felt today, for the first time since you broke me, the corners of my mouth curve up to form a toothy smile. And today I heard myself laugh again. I thought, that maybe today, I broke out of the oblivion of depression that you single handedly locked me in. But then I was reminded, that these magic pills of mine mimick happiness. I realized then, that the only way to escape manmade oblivion, is to stitch yourself into the ever present fabric of death.
nostalgix
Written by
nostalgix
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 12:10 AM UTC
Request permission to use this poem