nostalgix - Hello Poetry

11/15/14 11:44 am I am everything and nothing at all. I am everything and nothing at all. I am everything and nothing. I am every nothing. Every ounce of worth left is forced into choking back tears, hiding private fears in public places. What used to be strength and light, is now dark and slight. The intentions were pure, my future was sure. Potential was there, too bad I just couldn't care. I went to bed that night hoping for paradise. What did I receive? Another fall down the rabbit hole of despair. I awaken to see clouds of sorrow yet again. And again.. And again... When will it ever end?

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Nov 15, 2014

Nov 15, 2014 at 12:52 PM UTC

nostalgix

The Falling Of An Angel

11/15/14 11:44 am I am everything and nothing at all. I am everything and nothing at all. I am everything and nothing. I am every nothing. Every ounce of worth left is forced into choking back tears, hiding private fears in public places. What used to be strength and light, is now dark and slight. The intentions were pure, my future was sure. Potential was there, too bad I just couldn't care. I went to bed that night hoping for paradise. What did I receive? Another fall down the rabbit hole of despair. I awaken to see clouds of sorrow yet again. And again.. And again... When will it ever end?

24

*In the world in which I live I am lost with no direction. No arrow to lead me on my way, to guide me to my future. I once had direction; had a path to garuntee my success. Then the creations flew off gone like the hope for better days. Now I am a lost wanderer. Desperately searching for something new. Something of promise, something of passion, something. Anything to make myself, to make a name for myself, a life for myself. Any new idea or new goal. An arrow to guide my way. All I need is* direction

0

Oct 8, 2014

Oct 8, 2014 at 11:05 PM UTC

nostalgix

8/21/14

*In the world in which I live I am lost with no direction. No arrow to lead me on my way, to guide me to my future. I once had direction; had a path to garuntee my success. Then the creations flew off gone like the hope for better days. Now I am a lost wanderer. Desperately searching for something new. Something of promise, something of passion, something. Anything to make myself, to make a name for myself, a life for myself. Any new idea or new goal. An arrow to guide my way. All I need is* direction

24

Today was my first good day. I took some pills to numb the pain away. They helped me focus too. I focused on my work so much in fact that I didn't stop to think of you. Then at twelve I took a break to get high, I wanted to feel light. I didn't zone out or get tired because the pills kept my mind rolling. I didn't think of death. I didn't think of pain. I didn't even contemplate how I ruined us. I thought of beautiful people, analyzed the flaws of capitalism, even reopened an old book. For the first time since you left, I didn't feel the urge to run away. I again longed to be my best self. I enjoyed the company of others. I didn't crave being alone. I felt today, for the first time since you broke me, the corners of my mouth curve up to form a toothy smile. And today I heard myself laugh again. I thought, that maybe today, I broke out of the oblivion of depression that you single handedly locked me in. But then I was reminded, that these magic pills of mine mimick happiness. I realized then, that the only way to escape manmade oblivion, is to stitch yourself into the ever present fabric of death.

0

Sep 11, 2014

Sep 11, 2014 at 12:10 AM UTC

nostalgix

3/20/14

Today was my first good day. I took some pills to numb the pain away. They helped me focus too. I focused on my work so much in fact that I didn't stop to think of you. Then at twelve I took a break to get high, I wanted to feel light. I didn't zone out or get tired because the pills kept my mind rolling. I didn't think of death. I didn't think of pain. I didn't even contemplate how I ruined us. I thought of beautiful people, analyzed the flaws of capitalism, even reopened an old book. For the first time since you left, I didn't feel the urge to run away. I again longed to be my best self. I enjoyed the company of others. I didn't crave being alone. I felt today, for the first time since you broke me, the corners of my mouth curve up to form a toothy smile. And today I heard myself laugh again. I thought, that maybe today, I broke out of the oblivion of depression that you single handedly locked me in. But then I was reminded, that these magic pills of mine mimick happiness. I realized then, that the only way to escape manmade oblivion, is to stitch yourself into the ever present fabric of death.

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