I used to think I wasn't worthy of life
And when people heard about my thoughts
They looked at me like I was crazy
As if I didn't know how special I was
Standing alone in the rain
Like I just watched my lover leave and board a train
I looked in the mirror only to see every made up flaw that my imagination could orchestrate
I smiled only to have my eyes change my appearance into a twisted shape I couldn't recognize
My hatred towards myself lead to hatred towards others
I looked at people and thought of every mistake I could think of to match my own
I didn't know how to love myself
People's affirmations of me didn't mean anything
My words towards myself were like swords
And my friends words which I thought would be shields
Were really just medication to numb down what I was feeling
Thinking as long as they saw something more in me
I would somehow change my opinion
I walk down streets and see endless amounts of self confidence
If I had a nickel for every time my parents said something nice about me
I wouldn't have enough to pick myself out of the gutters and wash off
If only I knew sooner that approval from others is like trying to drive a car without gas
You can sit and picture all the places it will take you
But you will never reach any of them
I look in the mirror now to see the person that everyone else sees
Too bad it only took me 18 years to finally love myself
Jun 20, 2014
Jun 20, 2014 at 9:07 PM UTC
I used to think I wasn't worthy of life
And when people heard about my thoughts
They looked at me like I was crazy
As if I didn't know how special I was
Standing alone in the rain
Like I just watched my lover leave and board a train
I looked in the mirror only to see every made up flaw that my imagination could orchestrate
I smiled only to have my eyes change my appearance into a twisted shape I couldn't recognize
My hatred towards myself lead to hatred towards others
I looked at people and thought of every mistake I could think of to match my own
I didn't know how to love myself
People's affirmations of me didn't mean anything
My words towards myself were like swords
And my friends words which I thought would be shields
Were really just medication to numb down what I was feeling
Thinking as long as they saw something more in me
I would somehow change my opinion
I walk down streets and see endless amounts of self confidence
If I had a nickel for every time my parents said something nice about me
I wouldn't have enough to pick myself out of the gutters and wash off
If only I knew sooner that approval from others is like trying to drive a car without gas
You can sit and picture all the places it will take you
But you will never reach any of them
I look in the mirror now to see the person that everyone else sees
Too bad it only took me 18 years to finally love myself