Sometimes I forget
The abuse.
Sometimes even the
Pain begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Knocking on my door at 9.45
On a Saturday night
Isn't normal
When I haven't seen you in 3 years.
*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear flows through my veins.
and i turn the TV up
and I pretend I can't hear you
and I cry silently.*
Sometimes I think that I can
Move on.
Sometimes the barrier
Begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Parking outside my school
For a week
Isn't normal
When you don't even know my age.
*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and my escape plan is ready
and I won't walk alone
and I try to hide in the crowd.*
Sometimes I think you've
Finally died.
Sometimes the fear
Begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Offering holidays just to me
And not your other daughter
Isn't normal
When we both chose to leave your life.
*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and my head is spinning
and I change my number
and I block you.*
Sometimes the PTSD
Is gone.
Sometimes my childhood
Is rescued.
But then I remember-
A 30 mile bike ride
With no food or water
Isn't normal
When you're only 10 years old.
*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and the insomnia takes hold
and I can't open my front door
and if you could get in you would.*
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 5:48 PM UTC
Sometimes I forget
The abuse.
Sometimes even the
Pain begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Knocking on my door at 9.45
On a Saturday night
Isn't normal
When I haven't seen you in 3 years.
*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear flows through my veins.
and i turn the TV up
and I pretend I can't hear you
and I cry silently.*
Sometimes I think that I can
Move on.
Sometimes the barrier
Begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Parking outside my school
For a week
Isn't normal
When you don't even know my age.
*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and my escape plan is ready
and I won't walk alone
and I try to hide in the crowd.*
Sometimes I think you've
Finally died.
Sometimes the fear
Begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Offering holidays just to me
And not your other daughter
Isn't normal
When we both chose to leave your life.
*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and my head is spinning
and I change my number
and I block you.*
Sometimes the PTSD
Is gone.
Sometimes my childhood
Is rescued.
But then I remember-
A 30 mile bike ride
With no food or water
Isn't normal
When you're only 10 years old.
*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and the insomnia takes hold
and I can't open my front door
and if you could get in you would.*
This is a response to my teen years, which were and are filled with huge stress because of one person, who I spend my life avoiding. I can't wait to be free when I go to uni.
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