It has been a tough month.
With health issues, school difficulties
and do not even mention family problems...
So there has been some triggers
and it is just been stressful.
I have been pretty depressed
and feeling very vulnerable
and really wanting to cut.
I feel really like I have to act like everything is fine
and cannot talk about the things that are bothering me
with the people who I would really just like to talk about it with.
Which kind of leaves me feeling
hurt and resentful and
not wanting to trust.
I feel like asking for help is so difficult
and you can only do it so many times
and be rejected before you just take on this attitude of fine
**I do not need your help anyway -
I do not actually need anyone's help
and I will manage perfectly fine on my own.**
Except that is not how it works, you do not manage perfectly fine.
You try harder at not feeling feelings
IRONIC
being that feelings were something you worked so hard to feel!
you start not talking about anything that even remotely bothers you,
you put a band-aid on everything you are struggling with
and act like things are OK
when in fact, on the inside,
you are screaming and wishing,
hoping that someone would hear you.
Enter more hurt and resentment
.
It is just really difficult
**I simply want to feel
heard
supported
loved.**
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 4, 2014 at 5:54 PM UTC
It has been a tough month.
With health issues, school difficulties
and do not even mention family problems...
So there has been some triggers
and it is just been stressful.
I have been pretty depressed
and feeling very vulnerable
and really wanting to cut.
I feel really like I have to act like everything is fine
and cannot talk about the things that are bothering me
with the people who I would really just like to talk about it with.
Which kind of leaves me feeling
hurt and resentful and
not wanting to trust.
I feel like asking for help is so difficult
and you can only do it so many times
and be rejected before you just take on this attitude of fine
**I do not need your help anyway -
I do not actually need anyone's help
and I will manage perfectly fine on my own.**
Except that is not how it works, you do not manage perfectly fine.
You try harder at not feeling feelings
IRONIC
being that feelings were something you worked so hard to feel!
you start not talking about anything that even remotely bothers you,
you put a band-aid on everything you are struggling with
and act like things are OK
when in fact, on the inside,
you are screaming and wishing,
hoping that someone would hear you.
Enter more hurt and resentment
.
It is just really difficult
**I simply want to feel
heard
supported
loved.**
