i got out of bed
and all that was
in my head was
venom
and all i could think of
was breaking your
phones
so you couldn't call
anyone,
so you'd be
isolated
too
so grandpa wouldn't
know
the inside of my brain
so intimately
because you don't
shut up
because i don't have
any privacy
because i am your
pity party
(because i'm crazy)
so you'd have a
reason
to hate me
(that was
something i could
control)
but now
all i can think of
is the
goddamn
fear of
abandonment
and how all i do
is sleep
and spend two hours
in the bathroom
standing there
eavesdropping
staring at the wall
wishing i was dead
(wishing you were
dead, too)
and i want to
break my hands
(so i couldn't do it)
and i want to
break your phones
(because you would
hit me
again, and i am
scared
you'll never stop)
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 5:09 AM UTC
i got out of bed
and all that was
in my head was
venom
and all i could think of
was breaking your
phones
so you couldn't call
anyone,
so you'd be
isolated
too
so grandpa wouldn't
know
the inside of my brain
so intimately
because you don't
shut up
because i don't have
any privacy
because i am your
pity party
(because i'm crazy)
so you'd have a
reason
to hate me
(that was
something i could
control)
but now
all i can think of
is the
goddamn
fear of
abandonment
and how all i do
is sleep
and spend two hours
in the bathroom
standing there
eavesdropping
staring at the wall
wishing i was dead
(wishing you were
dead, too)
and i want to
break my hands
(so i couldn't do it)
and i want to
break your phones
(because you would
hit me
again, and i am
scared
you'll never stop)
